But praying will not change the situation. I look up at those who I was trusted to defend but failed. The other women who are in the same circumstances as me. Emery, Felicia, Alma, and Spinel. Even now they did not blame me. My heart aches. I cry. I fell sick that I am so weak. I am ashamed. Ashamed and apologized to everyone with my eyes. Apologize from the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry I am weak.