NARRATOR 1: You’d better believe Slappy was biggest! Why, he was seven feet tall with shoulders to match, and he weighed three hundred pounds, even without his cap and coverall and brush and bucket.
NARRATOR 2: And fastest?
SLAPPY: Just give me an eight-inch brush! (slaps paint on a wall)
NARRATOR 1: Slip!
NARRATOR 2: Slop!
NARRATOR 3: Slap!
NARRATOR 2: The job was done.
SLAPPY: And so smooth, you’d never see a brush stroke.
NARRATOR 3: And you bet Slappy was bestest! That was on account of his pictures.
SLAPPY: No one else ever made them so true to life!
NARRATOR 3: In fact, some folks said they were too true to life.
NARRATOR 1: Slappy’s trouble started with the huge red rose he painted on the sign for Rose’s Florist Shop.
ROSE RED: Slappy, it’s so real!
NARRATOR 1: . . . said Miss Rose Red, the owner.
ROSE RED: Why, I can just about smell the fragrance!
NARRATOR 2: But a week later, Rose Red fluttered into Slappy’s sign shop.
ROSE RED: Slappy, that sign of yours was too good.
SLAPPY: (puzzled) Too good?
ROSE RED: That’s right! The bees got wind of it and swarmed all over that rose, trying to get in. They scared away all my customers! That was bad enough, but wait till you see what’s happened now!
NARRATOR 3: When they reached the florist shop, Slappy saw that the bees were gone. But the rose had withered and died!
ROSE RED: No one buys from a florist with a withered flower on her sign. That’s the last thing you’ll paint for me, Slappy Hooper!
NARRATOR 1: The story got around, but most folks just laughed, and they still wanted Slappy to do their signs.
NARRATOR 2: His next job was to paint a billboard for the Eagle Messenger Service. Slappy painted an eagle three times larger than life.
BALDWIN EAGLE: Amazing!
NARRATOR 2: . . . said Mr. Baldwin Eagle.
BALDWIN EAGLE: It’s so real, I could swear I saw it blink! Wait a minute. I did see it blink!
NARRATOR 3: Then the bird flapped its wings and flew right off the billboard!
BALDWIN EAGLE: That sign was too good. That’s the last time you’ll work for me, Slappy Hooper!
NARRATOR 1: Folks were getting scared to hire Slappy. But at last he got a job from the Sunshine Travel Agency.
NARRATOR 2: The billboard was to show a man and woman on a beach, toasting under a hot sun. Slappy painted it the day after a big snowstorm.
RAY SUNSHINE: Wonderful!
NARRATOR 3: . . . said Mr. Ray Sunshine.
RAY SUNSHINE: Why, that sun makes me feel hot! And look! The snow on the sidewalk is melting!
NARRATOR 3: But a couple of days later, Slappy got a call.
RAY SUNSHINE: Slappy, your sign is too good. Get down here right away!
NARRATOR 1: When Slappy arrived, he saw that the sidewalk and street in front of the billboard were covered with beach chairs. People sat around in swimsuits and sunglasses, sipping lemonade and splashing suntan lotion.
RAY SUNSHINE: They’re blocking traffic, and the mayor blames me! Besides, they won’t need my travel agency if they take their vacations here! You’ve got to do something, Slappy.
NARRATOR 2: So Slappy set up his gear and got to work. He painted the sun on the billboard much hotter. Before long, the crowd was sweating buckets and complaining of sunburn. Then everyone packed up and left.
RAY SUNSHINE: Good work, Slappy! (gasps and points) Look at that!
NARRATOR 2: The man and woman on the billboard were walking off, too!
NARRATOR 3: Just then, a lick of flame shot up the wall of the building across the street. Slappy’s sign had set it on fire! In a few minutes, fire trucks clanged up and firefighters turned hoses on the flames.
RAY SUNSHINE: Slappy! Try something else!
NARRATOR 1: Slappy got back to work. He painted a storm cloud across that sun. But he had to jump clear when the cloud shot bolts of lightning!
NARRATOR 2: Then the storm broke.
NARRATOR 3: Slappy’s cloud rained so hard, the billboard overflowed and flooded all of Main Street!
RAY SUNSHINE: Never again, Slappy Hooper!
NARRATOR 1: After that, no one on earth would hire Slappy. It looked as if his sign-painting days were done.
NARRATOR 2: Slappy felt so low, he made up his mind to throw his paint kit in the river. He dragged it onto the tallest bridge in town and was just about to chuck it, when a voice thundered out beside him.
MICHAEL: Don’t dump that gear, Slappy. You’re going to need it!
NARRATOR 3: Right next to Slappy stood a man almost as big as Slappy himself. He wore a paint-splotched white coverall and a cap with two little angel wings sticking out. He carried an eight-inch brush.
SLAPPY: Who are you?
MICHAEL: I’m Michael, from the Heavenly Sign Company. The Boss has had an eye on you for some time, Slappy, and He likes your work. He’s got a job for you—if you don’t mind working in the rain.
SLAPPY: Tell me about it.
MICHAEL: We need someone to paint a rainbow this Wednesday. Most of the time, we handle all the rainbows ourselves. But it’s going to rain in a bunch of places