Vusi Makusi was a terminal optimist. He was an optimist even though he lived in one of the poorest places in the world, even though he only owned one suit, and his trousers didn't reach his ankles.
When he had finished his education, Vusi Makusi decided the civil service would be a good career. The man in charge took one look at Vusi, and saw immediately that he would never amount to anything.
"You know, I think I have just the post for an ambitious young man," he said.
Vusi spent a long time on a bus. The bus shuddered and shook and clanked, passing deeper and deeper into the jungle. Eventually it came to a halt in a swampy hollow, entirely surrounded by forest.
"But where is the village?" asked Vusi.
The bus driver pointed.
"What day does the bus return?"
"Saturday," said the bus driver, grumpily. Vusi had spent the last twenty hours telling everyone on the bus about his new job, and the driver was sick of him.
Vusi tramped through the hills to the village. He knocked on the door of the chief's hut, and sat down to wait. The whole village came to stare at him. When at last the chief appeared, Vusi stood up.
"Good Sir," he said. "I am the new government officer for this area. I have come to bring peace, prosperity, unity, development, and education to the people. I have come to show the beneficence and munificence of our great and benign government. Whatever the village needs, whether it be roads, schools, seeds, water, tractors, teachers or doctors, the government is willing to provide. All I must do is make a list, and it will certainly arrive."
The chief stared at Vusi, then began to laugh. He laughed ah-ha, ah-ha, ahhhhhhhh-hahahahahah. The people rolled around, slapping each other in mirth.
"Young man," said the chief, at last. "It is some time since we have had a visiting comedian."
< 2 >
"But Sir," said Vusi. "I am quite serious."
The chief laughed some more, ahahahahah!
"Good Sir, please desist! Cannot you see that my respected mother, 83 years old, is in pain from your joshing? Do you want an old lady to break her ribs?" he cried.
That night there was a special dinner for Vusi. It was only the next day, when Vusi began touring the village with a clipboard, that they became worried.
"He is a lunatic, and they have cast him out from the city," said the priest.
"He is a spy, and is making that list so they can steal everything," said the chief's wife.
"I think he has hit his head, and that is why he strange," said the blacksmith.
When twenty-eight days had passed, Vusi visited the chief. He explained that he had worked four weeks in a row, was due eight days leave, and that he intended to visit his elderly mother. He also asked to borrow the chief's umbrella, and offered to buy him a new one, just as soon as he got to the city, where he could draw his shiny new government salary from his shiny new bank account.
The chief, shaking his head, agreed to lend him the umbrella. Vusi went to the chief's wife and asked to borrow a blanket. Then he went next to the village blacksmith and asked for a knife, since it was a long walk to the bus stop, and the path was overgrown. Then he walked off, carrying his battered suitcase.
"Surely somebody should tell him, there is no bus," said the chief.
They waited and waited. Eventually the blacksmith went down the valley and found Vusi waiting by the dirt track.
"He says the bus will surely come soon," explained the blacksmith, "And he does not want to miss it." When two days had passed, the chief himself descended and tried to talk sense to Vusi. He returned, shaking his head. The priest tried, with no more success.
< 3 >
"He is immune to reason," said the chief's wife. "Therefore we must appeal to the heart, or the eyes. Send the potter's daughter, she is the prettiest girl in the village."
The potter's daughter returned, shrugging hopelessly.
"Send the priest's niece," suggested the blacksmith. "She is not perhaps quite the prettiest, but the smartest and sharpest of the women, and clever with words."
The villagers worked their way through all the young women, till there was only one left.
"Well, she might as well try," said the chief, yawning. Then he went inside, for a nap.
The girl stormed off down the path. She was so angry to be considered the plainest and stupidest girl in the village that when she saw Vusi, she threw a mango stone at him.
"Idiot! Lunatic!" she shouted. "Do what you want and see if I care! Do you think anyone will even notice if you sit there till you turn to stone!" Then, because she was so upset, she burst into tears.
Vusi stared at the girl. He fell to his knees.
"Dear lady," he said, "You must forgive me! This excess of emotion can only have been brought on by the burden of concealing your true feelings. If I seemed oblivious to your affections i