Dear PeacefulJourney,
and even better is that in time you will become even better and you will SEE and FEEL that!
Welcome to the forum! I am very sorry to read what you gone through and I believe there are many more situations that you have experienced but did not write here about that relationship. He is cruel and very controlling dangerous man. And I am glad that you are out from that relationship.
It is horrible to be in a situation to be so afraid and not be able to stand up and defend yourself. Those experiences we will never forget
As Peace said, please do not feel ashamed and embarrassed as really from all that I have read I see NO REASON for YOU to feel that. Sadly, those who should feel that do not have capacity for it!
I can identify with what you wrote because I felt the same. First he treated me the way I wanted to be treated, I felt as it was a perfect fit. I had freedom as much as I wanted and he had freedom for himself. I really felt proud in how I though we are building up our relationship, healthy and mature. Then he became controlling. He would also use examples of his ex relationships to " teach me " what I should not do basically. And I learned it all. I really did not want to do anything wrong. And I justified that with "adjustment" which would be normal if it did not led me towards feeling as in prison
He is twisting truth, he is claiming that you invaded his privacy and he has no capacity (nor interest) for honest introspection. He is presenting himself as a good guy in a relationship. It is awful how he say he will be helping you with credit although he behaved as he did that night.
He sounds as Mr Jekyll and Mr Hyde .. although as you already see there were red flag at the beginning as well. They way they push our boundaries is incredibly. I hope I will be able to build up strong boundaries so nobody can make me change it if it is against me.
I welcome you the beginning of a life free of abuse and control.
And hope you will find peace here in your journey,
MorningAfter