Do not make the mistake many people do to believe or continue a relation that is ended already.
What you have with your boyfriend is not what you look for, what you want and want to feel ans say with for the furure not sure.
Several reasons and two of them I know for sure.
Probably difficult to stop with him because of your parents or family or expectations of the people around you.
Riam, you are a wise sensitive lady.
Do not make the mistake so many people made hy continue something that to your feeling and actions already has ended.
Become a lucky lady without the scars and wounds that one gets when continuing something that is already ended in there feelings and sences. Only need to be stopt.
Follow your sensitive innerperson. She is guiding you the right path if you are honest to yourself. Not be afraid to make the step.