Virginia encourages the parents to talk to the three children together as well as separately. She suggests starting by finding out what the children already know and if there is anything they have been worried about. She suggests they explain the illness and expected death in clear, concrete language. She provides a list of books that may help children of different ages understand death. She also encourages the family to invilve the children in caring for their grandfather in small ways that they feel comfortable with, and to find activities that they can do with their grandfather that they have always enjoyed doing together (reading stories, listening to music, drawing picture, etc). She also suggests letting the children's teachers know what is happening so they can be alert for any changes in behavior