We all make mistakes, but perfectionists have a hard time forgiving mistakes. Instead, they tend to judge harshly. If you’re a perfectionist, you don’t forgive yourself when you make a mistake and you have a hard time forgiving others. Your expectations of yourself and others are unrealistically high.
If you’re a perfectionist and you’re trying to lose weight, you may be setting weight-loss goals for yourself that are impossibly high. You may be setting unachievable weight and fitness goals for yourself. All you’re doing by setting such impossible goals is setting yourself up for failure.Your irrational beliefs about never being thin enough, or being “bad” for not eating perfectly are simply wrong. You need to let go of those beliefs. You are probably guilty of all-or-nothing thinking; you view everything as black or white, right or wrong, with no allowance for gray areas. In a perfectionist’s mind, “I ate chocolate” translates to “I failed to follow a healthy diet.” But this problem lies more with your own attitude than it with your eating behavior. You can eat chocolate and still follow a healthy diet if you’re eating normal portion sizes and if you change your thinking from “It’s wrong to eat chocolate” to “How can I fit a little chocolate into my day?”
Perfectionists focus on imperfection. They are driven by fear (of being fat, of being unloved, of failing). If you are a perfectionist, you might undereat or overexercise because you equate being thin with perfection. Nonperfectionists focus on achievements, like eating a nutritionally balanced diet to stay healthy or exercising just enough to be fit and strong. Nonperfectionists are driven by success.
Try setting yourself up for success. Learn to accept that your best weight and body shape may be a little less perfect than you want them to be. Just think: If you allow yourself to be just a rung below perfect (which you cannot be, anyway), you might actually reach your goal! The thrill of reaching an attainable goal sure beats the frustration of never getting to an impossible one.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is switch your focus from the size or shape of your body to the health of your body. Remember that you’re a whole person, not just a collection of individual body parts. Think holistically: Pay attention to your entire body, not just your thighs or your belly or your chest or whatever part is making you unhappy.
Another way to think holistically is to switch from seeing your body as fat or otherwise imperfect to seeing your body as out of balance. You’ve been eating an unbalanced diet, or you haven’t been balancing the food you eat with an appropriate amount of exercise that would help you maintain a healthier weight. Once your lifestyle becomes more balanced, so will your body. You will reach and maintain a healthier weight and/or become more fit. And that’s as close to perfection as it gets.
Here’s how to avoid the perfectionist trap:
• Understand that nothing can be done perfectly or stay perfect all of the time.
• Work on forgiving yourself and others for making mistakes and being imperfect.
• Accept yourself for who you are, not you think you “should” be.
• Reassess your goals to make sure they are realistic.
• When you fall off the food wagon, jump right back on.
• Don’t dwell on mistakes. Recognize yourself as a human being who does make mistakes, just like everyone else.
• Stop second-guessing your ability to succeed.
• Look for role models who are not perfectionists.
We all make mistakes, but perfectionists have a hard time forgiving mistakes. Instead, they tend to judge harshly. If you’re a perfectionist, you don’t forgive yourself when you make a mistake and you have a hard time forgiving others. Your expectations of yourself and others are unrealistically high.
If you’re a perfectionist and you’re trying to lose weight, you may be setting weight-loss goals for yourself that are impossibly high. You may be setting unachievable weight and fitness goals for yourself. All you’re doing by setting such impossible goals is setting yourself up for failure.Your irrational beliefs about never being thin enough, or being “bad” for not eating perfectly are simply wrong. You need to let go of those beliefs. You are probably guilty of all-or-nothing thinking; you view everything as black or white, right or wrong, with no allowance for gray areas. In a perfectionist’s mind, “I ate chocolate” translates to “I failed to follow a healthy diet.” But this problem lies more with your own attitude than it with your eating behavior. You can eat chocolate and still follow a healthy diet if you’re eating normal portion sizes and if you change your thinking from “It’s wrong to eat chocolate” to “How can I fit a little chocolate into my day?”
Perfectionists focus on imperfection. They are driven by fear (of being fat, of being unloved, of failing). If you are a perfectionist, you might undereat or overexercise because you equate being thin with perfection. Nonperfectionists focus on achievements, like eating a nutritionally balanced diet to stay healthy or exercising just enough to be fit and strong. Nonperfectionists are driven by success.
Try setting yourself up for success. Learn to accept that your best weight and body shape may be a little less perfect than you want them to be. Just think: If you allow yourself to be just a rung below perfect (which you cannot be, anyway), you might actually reach your goal! The thrill of reaching an attainable goal sure beats the frustration of never getting to an impossible one.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is switch your focus from the size or shape of your body to the health of your body. Remember that you’re a whole person, not just a collection of individual body parts. Think holistically: Pay attention to your entire body, not just your thighs or your belly or your chest or whatever part is making you unhappy.
Another way to think holistically is to switch from seeing your body as fat or otherwise imperfect to seeing your body as out of balance. You’ve been eating an unbalanced diet, or you haven’t been balancing the food you eat with an appropriate amount of exercise that would help you maintain a healthier weight. Once your lifestyle becomes more balanced, so will your body. You will reach and maintain a healthier weight and/or become more fit. And that’s as close to perfection as it gets.
Here’s how to avoid the perfectionist trap:
• Understand that nothing can be done perfectly or stay perfect all of the time.
• Work on forgiving yourself and others for making mistakes and being imperfect.
• Accept yourself for who you are, not you think you “should” be.
• Reassess your goals to make sure they are realistic.
• When you fall off the food wagon, jump right back on.
• Don’t dwell on mistakes. Recognize yourself as a human being who does make mistakes, just like everyone else.
• Stop second-guessing your ability to succeed.
• Look for role models who are not perfectionists.
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We all make mistakes, but perfectionists have a hard time forgiving mistakes. Instead, they tend to judge harshly. If you’re a perfectionist, you don’t forgive yourself when you make a mistake and you have a hard time forgiving others. Your expectations of yourself and others are unrealistically high.
If you’re a perfectionist and you’re trying to lose weight, you may be setting weight-loss goals for yourself that are impossibly high. You may be setting unachievable weight and fitness goals for yourself. All you’re doing by setting such impossible goals is setting yourself up for failure.Your irrational beliefs about never being thin enough, or being “bad” for not eating perfectly are simply wrong. You need to let go of those beliefs. You are probably guilty of all-or-nothing thinking; you view everything as black or white, right or wrong, with no allowance for gray areas. In a perfectionist’s mind, “I ate chocolate” translates to “I failed to follow a healthy diet.” But this problem lies more with your own attitude than it with your eating behavior. You can eat chocolate and still follow a healthy diet if you’re eating normal portion sizes and if you change your thinking from “It’s wrong to eat chocolate” to “How can I fit a little chocolate into my day?”
Perfectionists focus on imperfection. They are driven by fear (of being fat, of being unloved, of failing). If you are a perfectionist, you might undereat or overexercise because you equate being thin with perfection. Nonperfectionists focus on achievements, like eating a nutritionally balanced diet to stay healthy or exercising just enough to be fit and strong. Nonperfectionists are driven by success.
Try setting yourself up for success. Learn to accept that your best weight and body shape may be a little less perfect than you want them to be. Just think: If you allow yourself to be just a rung below perfect (which you cannot be, anyway), you might actually reach your goal! The thrill of reaching an attainable goal sure beats the frustration of never getting to an impossible one.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is switch your focus from the size or shape of your body to the health of your body. Remember that you’re a whole person, not just a collection of individual body parts. Think holistically: Pay attention to your entire body, not just your thighs or your belly or your chest or whatever part is making you unhappy.
Another way to think holistically is to switch from seeing your body as fat or otherwise imperfect to seeing your body as out of balance. You’ve been eating an unbalanced diet, or you haven’t been balancing the food you eat with an appropriate amount of exercise that would help you maintain a healthier weight. Once your lifestyle becomes more balanced, so will your body. You will reach and maintain a healthier weight and/or become more fit. And that’s as close to perfection as it gets.
Here’s how to avoid the perfectionist trap:
• Understand that nothing can be done perfectly or stay perfect all of the time.
• Work on forgiving yourself and others for making mistakes and being imperfect.
• Accept yourself for who you are, not you think you “should” be.
• Reassess your goals to make sure they are realistic.
• When you fall off the food wagon, jump right back on.
• Don’t dwell on mistakes. Recognize yourself as a human being who does make mistakes, just like everyone else.
• Stop second-guessing your ability to succeed.
• Look for role models who are not perfectionists.
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