Difficulties in wanting and especially in connecting want to satisfaction
arise because what we want involves a relationship with others and an idea
about ourselves. We want self-esteem and the esteem of others that we hope
will be forthcoming if we get the things we think we want. Problems arise, in
other words, because when we want particular things - an operation, an
award, a career - what we really want is a relation with others and place in
the world. This is the relational element in wanting.