I've never been an anorexic, but I have always been conscious of my weight.... And I always like myself better when I lose it... Sometimes I envy them you know, anorexic people. The kind of discipline and self control it takes to not eat. I envy that. And I know I shouldn't, I know its an illness and at some point it controls them but I can't help it. I feel too desperate to lose weight I'm not even sure why