Indonesians place great value upon social harmony, and behaving according to custom maintains harmony. Indonesians dislike a “scene”. The concept of “face” is important and no one should be treated with less than respect in public. Bluntness is rude, loudness is vulgar, and aggressiveness is bad manners.
In practical terms, whether it be planning a joint activity or reaching a business decision, discussions and making decisions can take more time than many Westerners expect. Indonesians express differences of opinion in a manner that you might find irritating and devious. For example, Indonesians are reluctant to say “no”. There are politer ways to express a negative or to indicate that something has not been done. Indonesians are sensitive to nuances of speech and expression and will understand what to you may remain vague and opaque. It follows that if you infer correctly that something has gone wrong or a task has not been completed on time you should yourself be careful how you respond. In general, in any situation, the aim is to arrive at a consensus that satisfies “face” on all sides. The process may, however, produce delays in and adjustments to the execution of decisions. While this may be frustrating, losing your temper would only cause embarrassment, be unproductive, and lower the respect in which you are held. The best resource is to retain a sense of humor, accept the elasticity of time, and be firm in maintaining your own position with courtesy, while seeking a compromise that involves no loss of face for either party. Not liking to say “no”, themselves, Indonesians dislike blunt rejection of their own view and proposals. They will, though, eventually accept a compromise.