patients were disappointed by not being offered a treatment
choice, while others found choices stressful and unwanted:
The burden of choice was placed upon me; whether to begin further
treatment or not. I felt that was hard. (Patient 2)
Partner perspective
Partners reacted with shock and described life as being turned
upside down when the patient received their cancer diagnosis.
Work and normal activities became meaningless when cancer
struck:
Your entire life is turned upside down and it happens so fast. In just a
day or so everything that was routine was changed. But another thing
is that having gone through this you change somewhat and start
thinking. You become grateful for what you have and small details
become more important. (Partner 8)
A year after surgery, some partners believed the patient was
cured while others were uncertain. Some partners shared
worries before the return visits, while others felt lonely with
their gnawing worries. In spite of complications and sickness,
hope existed among partners. Personal experiences of being
cured from cancer and fatalistic thoughts about the future
were used when encouraging themselves and the patient. The
threat to the patient’s life could make partners realise that it
was important to be kind and thankful for having the patient
alive. This insight prevented them from quarrelling and they
felt they took better care of the patient.