“ A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care…”
Frank Herbert, Dune, 1965
An Introduction
The Origins of Sibling Rivalry
Why do siblings fight?
Root Cause of Sibling Rivalry
Consequences of sibling rivalry
What Parents can do?
What the community can do?
An Introduction
Sibling rivalry is one of humanity’s oldest problems. One of the first stories in the Bible (the oldest book in Western civilization, and the story of the ancient Jewish culture) deals with the rivalry between two brothers, Cain & Abel. The older brother, Cain, was irritated at constantly having to help and take care of his younger brother, Abel, and kept asking his parents: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The story of these two brothers has a tragic ending; Cain becomes so angry that he kills Abel.
Parents of teenagers may be troubled by the amount of fighting, both verbal and physical, that goes on between their children. This is a common problem in homes with adolescents and many parents find it difficult and upsetting. One father said, “They are constantly bickering and yelling. There is no peace in the house anymore. They won’t listen to me, and nothing I do seems to have any effect on them. Why do they hate each other so?
The Origins of Sibling Rivalry
By “sibling rivalry” we mean the antagonism or hostility between brothers and/or sisters which manifests itself in circumstances such as in the common children’s family fights (which begin with a pulling of the sibling’s hair or with the unwillingness to share a prized toy, and which try the patience of parents) to much more serious cases such as the permanent enmity between adult siblings, or the previously mentioned Biblical case of the murder of Abel by Cain.