A marriage is traditionally initiated by merisik, a process in which a senior and respected member of the groom’s family visits the prospective bride’s family to learn about her background, and whether she is agreeable to the marriage.4 He is usually accompanied by a small entourage bearing gifts. If the bride is found to be acceptable, a proposal would be made, traditionally in the form of poetic Malay verses.5
Today, merisik may not be conducted, as most couples already know each other well before marriage is considered.6 Alternatively, the meeting may just be a formality for the in-laws to get to know each other, and to set a date for the engagement.7
Once the proposal is accepted – this may take up to a week – the engagement date is determined. During bertunang (engagement ceremony), gifts are exchanged between the couple, and the amount of mas kahwin (dowry) agreed upon.8 The engagement period may last between six months and three year
A marriage is traditionally initiated by merisik, a process in which a senior and respected member of the groom’s family visits the prospective bride’s family to learn about her background, and whether she is agreeable to the marriage.4 He is usually accompanied by a small entourage bearing gifts. If the bride is found to be acceptable, a proposal would be made, traditionally in the form of poetic Malay verses.5 Today, merisik may not be conducted, as most couples already know each other well before marriage is considered.6 Alternatively, the meeting may just be a formality for the in-laws to get to know each other, and to set a date for the engagement.7Once the proposal is accepted – this may take up to a week – the engagement date is determined. During bertunang (engagement ceremony), gifts are exchanged between the couple, and the amount of mas kahwin (dowry) agreed upon.8 The engagement period may last between six months and three year
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