After 10 minutes, I arrive at the south-west of Dragon City. It literally looks like a catastrophe happened here. The small trees are burning with flames and the ignition point is a huge pile of bird poop. It’s really huge, having a diameter of around 15 meters or so. It looks just like a meteorite…This bird poop has an abundant of fire attributes in it. Also, the bird seems like it ate something wrong, I see an over 50kg huge pea within the poop, apparently the bird was unable to digest that.
I walk up and a wave of intense nastiness attacks my nose. It’s so smelly! I wave my sword around, and cut into the feces. My determination doesn’t waver and cutting it like a pizza, I cut it into ten or so pieces and drag piece by piece back. This time the pile is a bit large and trying to bring it all back in one go wouldn’t be a smart idea.
I drag a piece of the bird poop, excitedly return to the camp and hand the feces to the army officer. I get plenty of experience and I joyfully run back, continuing to pick up the rest of the poop.
After an hour or so, I’m finally at the last piece. This piece is especially heavy; it’s the section that had the pea!
After dragging it for a while, I turn around, and unsheathe my sword. Screw it; I’ll just cut the peas off. So annoying and so tiring!
Clang!
When my sword contacts with the pea, sparks appear, and my arm also goes numb. Sigh, what is this? What kind of hard object can’t be cut by my sword?
I go closer, and use my hand to wipe away the poop on the “pea”. But this isn’t a pea! I scratch away the feces around it, and use my sword to chisel it a bit, and I find out that this is a 1 meter long stone tablet! On it there’s even small words written on it, but sadly they’re words from ancient times, and I can’t read it!
“Hup!”
I hold the tablet, and it’s at least 50 kg. Luckily I am a full-strength warrior, and carrying it doesn’t cause me too many problems. Also, under normal circumstances, I can easily carry 50kg in real life. I wave my hand, and try to get information on this stone tablet, but I only get a vague description——
【Ancient Tablet】: This is a tablet that recorded old martial secrets and it’ll collect experience with the player. When it collects enough experience, it will fuse with the player and become a skill. You must sign the contract to bring this around.
……
Looking at these words, I don’t even know what to think. This luck. Even when I’m picking up poop I get treasure. What is this madness…?
Whatever, I’ll sign the contract first!
Whoosh!
I slide my finger on the edge of the sword, and drip my blood from my finger onto the tablet. Instantly the area around me shimmers and the tablet suddenly shines and glows. Countless words surround me, and quickly afterwards, a ray of light stabs into my body and a system notification shows, saying that I’ve signed a contract with the tablet and it’s impossible to drop or leave behind.
With a clang, a heavy, dark stone appears on my back and if you look at it, it’s looks like a stone carving of a Chinese piano. It actually makes me look refined and gentlemanly. Next to the stone is the sheath of my sword, so it wouldn’t affect my movements in battle. Although I can feel the weight of it, my moving speed won’t change by much.
I continue and drag the last piece of bird feces to the army officer and hand in the mission. Instantly experience points comes in with a glow of light——
“Experience +5000!”
“[Ancient Tablet] experience +5000”
Indeed, the tablet gets as much experience as I do. Sadly, I can’t see how much experience points the tablet needs in order for it to be completed, but there’s no rush, I can take it slow.
……
I finished the first mission and my experience bar lands on 49% at level 39. Following that, it’s the second mission; help that tofu women find her cat.
After two hours, at the west part of the small town, I found a bard traveling around with the small cat. I retrieve the cat and also give the bard two knocks on the head. He knows his wrongs, and reflected on it, so I let him go. I carry the white cat back to finish my mission, and happily collect the experience points.
The third mission is kind of difficult. The crippled old soldier under Dragon City wants to touch a woman’s chest and such a shameless request became my mission.
I sit in the forest and I’m almost tearing my hair off.
Should I ask for help? That’s not too great. Although I do know quite a few good women in the game, Wan Er and Cheng Yue etc. If I asked them to let the old soldier touch them, I would probably instantly get killed… As for Qing Qian and Wei Liang those two, I don’t even know if they’re adults or not, how can I bear to do that to them…
Finally, I make a painful decision; I’ll make a woman myself!
I go into the forest, and kill some soft-skinned wild rabbit. I cut off their fur and they’re very soft. After that, I sew
together a human-shaped thing, and I use some grasses and such to fill it up. After that, I took some mud from the riverside and drew a face. Actually, I wanted to draw the face of a Lin Zi Ling, but sadly I didn’t draw well enough. Whatever, I’ll just use it.
TL: 林志玲 If you want to Google it. For the fur, it’s probably because the rabbit isn’t a monster.
Finally, in the Ba Huang City stores I bought two steaming buns, and stuffed them in the chest location. After doing that, I bring this “woman” back out. Ahh…I am just too talented… On the road, countless amounts of players shoot shocked glances at me——
“Brother, your girlfriend is leaking air, run slower!”
……
Under Dragon City, the old soldier’s eyes can barely be opened. Sleeping in the small wooden house and looking at the woman made by Li Xiao Yao, his old tears start to drop. He reaches and touches these two steaming buns, says to me emotionally, “Oh righteous, young warrior. You are the pride of Dragon City, letting me fill in one of my life’s regrets. This woman, it is really as beautiful as you say she is?!”
I nod, “That I don’t know, who is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen?”
The old soldier says while crying, “When my eyes were still clear, the most beautiful woman I’ve seen is the Leader of the Dragon City Knights—— Captain Frost. Her beauty is just like moonshine, always glowing in my heart…”
I say, “Mm, this woman, she is exactly the same as Frost, trust me…”
“Okay. Thank you!”
Whoosh!
The glow of experience falls on me, and at the same time, golden light shines over me, and I finally rose to level 40!
……
Finally! As I was carrying my “girlfriend” and preparing to leave, I find Frost behind me; both of her eyes are filled with killing intent while she glares at me, seemingly being able to see through everything. She knows!
I’m done, now I can’t even stay in Dragon City……