The shield in our MV for Run Away symbolizes a few things. When our director Min asked how I would like to share my story I was not able to respond immediately. This past year feels like 10. This accident sucked. My hand turned black and was rotting away before my eyes. I was told to prepare for the worst; it was not likely i'd be keeping it.
I lied to my parents and told them it was a tiny break. There was no reason to extend the pain I knew I would cause them. I hid the truth from my fans because I did not want them to worry about me. But because of this I felt so alone. And I failed to realize until later on this was a huge mistake. I could have died and left without saying goodbye. But every single day it was something new. A different type of pain. Every day was hell.
Now that I have a taste of death the word that best describes it is cold. It is freezing cold. And if it takes you there isn't much you can do. But From this accident I did learn something new; how madly, how desperate I am to live. God thank you so much for saving me. I love you.
So this shield has a few meanings. If I died on the shitty floor of that Chinese restaurant I would have died without ever having truly lived. That shield symbolizes my regret. My past. And how I've lived clinging to the shredded threads of who i used to be. It is my inability to commit to myself and being a pawn instead of electing the path of my creation or demise. With this God given chance I choose to live my life. Make my own mistakes. And regret nothing.
I am burning that shield and sending it straight to hell. So all that remains is me.