4.6 Social Life
In some departments, the graduate students form relatively cohesive groups, organizing lunches, social hours, and excursions. In others, there is little interaction. Even if a department is relatively ``cold'' when you arrive, it only takes a few people to ``warm it up.'' Try to get a core of interested students, and aim for establishing a graduate student lounge, a student chapter of MAA, ACM, SIAM, or IEEE, a weekly brown bag lunch (perhaps inviting a faculty member or a finishing student to give an informal presentation), or a monthly excursion.
If interactions within the department look hopeless, try making contacts in another science or engineering department, or through the graduate school of your university. The gym or a special interest club could lead to good friendships.
4.7 Becoming a Professional
You are on your way to becoming a professional, and you should act the part! If you haven't already, it is past time to join the important professional societies in your field:
Computer Science: ACM: The Association for Computing Machinery.
Computer Science / Engineering: IEEE Computer Society.
Mathematics: AMS: The American Mathematical Society.
Mathematics Education: MAA: The Mathematical Association of America.
Applied Mathematics: SIAM: The Society for Industrial and Applied Mathematics.
Statistics: ASA: The American Statistical Association.
Women: Association for Women in Mathematics, Association for Women in Computing, SWE: Society of Women Engineers.
See Section 14.1 for links to these and other professional societies.
Watch the meeting schedules for your societies, and if any meeting in your research area is taking place close to home, find your way to it! If you are well along in your research, ask your advisor and your department to give you partial support to attend the right meeting, close or far!
There are also important contacts to be made by email. Several research areas (e.g., numerical analysis, approximation theory, and most computer science areas) have mailing lists or websites devoted to announcements of meetings, research results, open problems, and queries. Read them, and respond if appropriate, but keep in mind that you are becoming a professional, and your messages should not be frivolous or ``flaming''.
There are also resources for women and minorities in math and computer science. See 14
4.8 Maintaining Sanity
No student gets through graduate school without experiencing a significant amount of stress. There is always too much to do, and not enough time to do it. Sometimes it is not even clear what should be done--only that it should be completed now. It may seem that everyone except you is competent (the ``imposter syndrome") You may doubt your intelligence, your creativity, your motivation, and perhaps even your sanity.
This is normal, and probably unavoidable. But there are certain factors that will make your life smoother.
To prevent Failure in graduate school, rely upon as many of these F's as possible:
Friends. Use them as sounding boards, as shoulders to cry on, and as non job-related companions. And make sure that they can rely on you for the same things.
Faculty. Try to find a supportive faculty member other than your advisor: perhaps someone in a closely related field, a former teacher, or someone (perhaps a woman or minority member) you feel some kinship with. Make it a point to stop by once a month or once a semester just to report progress (or lack of it) and problems, and to get another perspective. If you can't find such a mentor locally, try one of the mentoring programs listed in Section 14.3.
Family. The support of your family is a great resource. A healthy adult relationship with your parents can provide a great sense of security. The time you spend with spouse or children or other loved ones is a good way to recharge your batteries and remind you that career is not everything.
Faith. A belief in God or a theory of why you are where you are can be a source of strength in keeping your perspective and knowing that hard times will pass.
Fitness. The healthier your lifestyle, the more energy--especially creative energy--you may draw upon.
Fun. Make time in your life for the other things you enjoy, whether music, theater, reading, art, or sunset watching. You are a scholar, and you need some balance in your life. You will be more efficient during your working hours if you allow yourself to shift gears and relax in your off-hours.
If, despite your efforts at balance, you find yourself depressed or having thoughts of suicide, don't hesitate to seek help. Also seek help if you find yourself regulating your mood with alcohol or illegal drugs. Most campuses have a health center through which you can easily find professional care. Seeking help when you need it is a virtue, not a weakness; failing to seek it when you need it is a mistake. See Section 14.5 for some resources.