Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But now knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.
-- Paulo Coelho
“Ow!”
A boy tripped over his own foot while running.
Junmyeon glanced over his shoulder. He was about to go back into the building, but the boy’s whimper made him pause. In a normal situation, one would burst into tears over a simple wound. Junmyeon waited for a shrill voice, half expecting for the boy to sob, but nothing came. Instead, the boy gritted his teeth hard and clenched his fists so tightly on his lap so that he wouldn’t cry.
A fighter.
Junmyeon broke into a small smile as he approached the boy. He took a good look at the boy’s condition. His knee was grazed and it was slightly bleeding, but other than that, nothing serious. Junmyeon knelt as he patted the boy’s head and the latter looked up at him.
“What’s your name...?”
“S—Sehun.”
“Sehun,” Junmyeon repeated softly. “Your wound’s not that deep. How about we go there for a moment to clean you up?”
Sehun’s line of sight followed to where Junmyeon was pointing before shifting it back to the older male. Junmyeon was pointing at a hospital that looked like it was about to collapse any minute. Sehun gulped.
“Are you a doctor?”
Junmyeon nodded.
“Will it hurt?”
Junmyeon looked amused. “Are you afraid? You’re a big boy, aren’t you? You didn’t even cry when you tripped. Come on.” He stood up, motioning the hospital with the jerk of his head. Junmyeon extended his hand to Sehun, who seemed really hesitant at first. But then Sehun willingly accepted his hand and they were walking together side by side. “Are you alone, Sehun?”
“Yes.”
Junmyeon glanced down, carefully avoiding a big stone as he stepped forward. “Your parents...?” He asked, although he had a feeling he knew what the answer was going to be.
Sehun’s tone cracked slightly. “They died in war.”
Junmyeon pursed his lips. “Mine, too.”
Sehun turned his head to stare at Junmyeon. “Did you cry?”
The boy earned a soft chuckle in response. “For days.”
“But no matter how hard you cry, they won’t come back, right?”
Junmyeon stared blankly at the boy. How old was he? Six, seven...approximately eight years old? He couldn’t estimate Sehun’s age. Junmyeon took a long time to ponder, wondering if he should lie and tell sweet nothing to the boy. He finally looked away, his grip tightened around Sehun’s wrist. Junmyeon decided to just be honest.
“Yeah.”
Sehun said nothing more.
“Yeah, they won’t...”
***
Several years had passed since Korean Independence Day.
The word ‘independence’ was supposed to bring peace to everyone. Sure, they were freed from the Japanese colonies, but soon after, they were engaged in another war with North Korean. Countries from all over the world were giving South Korean their military support, which was why foreigners could be seen within a radius everywhere in the city.
It felt like a back stab when the war with North Korean started.
Junmyeon honestly didn’t understand, because he felt that they were practically siblings. They had the same ancestors, they were born in the same country, but what happened...? What made them fight each other? Junmyeon thought he was going to be able to breathe in relief when their independence was declared, but he was wrong.
It was like reliving the nightmare once again.
Kids were slaughtered mercilessly. Important people were killed in their sleeps. Sometimes, there would be sudden bombings and attacks in the city and innocent people became victims.
Everyone was terrified.
Junmyeon, too.
“Doctor?”
Junmyeon jerked out of his reveries and concentrated at the boy before him.
Sehun hissed painfully when Junmyeon dabbed a cotton of alcohol rub on his knee, and the boy sniffed when Junmyeon carefully put on a band-aid. No matter how hard he tried to be strong, he was still a boy, Junmyeon mused.
“There. It doesn’t hurt much, right?”
“Thank you,” Sehun politely said with visible tears on his eyes. “Y-yes, it doesn’t...hurt much.”
“You’re welcome,” Junmyeon couldn’t help but chuckle and caressed the boy’s hair. “Don’t worry, it will heal in a few days. Sehun, do you have someone to live with...?”
“Yeah, I live with Soojung,” Sehun wiped his eyes with the back of his dirty hand. “We’re the same. I mean, she lost her family too. But at least she still has her sister.” The blond-haired boy looked at Junmyeon solemnly. “I want to be a doctor like you once I grow up.”
Junmyeon could only smile. “Really? That is nice.”
“Because you’re the one who treat all of the wounded men, right?”
“Doctors and nurses. Right.”
"You're a hero, Doctor."
Junmyeon was a bit speechless when Sehun leaned forward to hug him tightly. He didn’t expect the boy to do that to him—really, all he did was just to put on a band-aid... Junmyeon was lost of what to do. They stayed like that for a while, until it was Sehun who pulled away first with a grin.
“Take care of yourself, Sehun...”
Sehun nodded vigorously as he patted his own chest. “I’ll be alright!” With that, the boy happily ran outside like his knee wasn’t wounded at all.
Junmyeon didn’t bother to follow Sehun out. A second later, someone peeked his head into the room with a bright, teasing expression. Junmyeon pretended to be annoyed. “Kyungsoo.”
“Another fanboy?” Kyungsoo offered him an impish smile.
Junmyeon rolled his eyes as he stood up. “You always say that. I just happened to stumble upon them outside.”
Kyungsoo chuckled as he leaned by the doorway. “Who was this one earlier? I could tell that he adores you.”
“His name is Sehun. His parents died in the war.” Junmyeon paused while gathering his things, thinking that this kind of news was nothing new for him and Kyungsoo. “He seemed cheerful enough. Said he wanted to be a doctor like me.”
“That’s good,” Kyungsoo nodded. “Boys like Sehun, they need motivation to live...”
Junmyeon sighed as he took his bag and turned around to face his friend. “You’re right. You’re right...”
The corner of Kyungsoo’s eyes were crinkling when he grinned. “Come on, Junmyeon, let’s go home.”
***
For the last few years, ‘home’ was where he lived with Kyungsoo.
Junmyeon had asked Kyungsoo to live with him after the world war, just because he hated being alone. Kyungsoo had been his friend ever since they took medical studies together and he was always there for Junmyeon. Kyungsoo was also there for him when his parents had been killed. They had been through a lot together, and Junmyeon was grateful for both Kyungsoo’s presence and their friendship.
Kyungsoo was taking a shower when Junmyeon turned on the radio.
The male listened intently to the news. He planned to take notes of the updates about the military, but he soon fell asleep when the people on the radio were talking about the night curfew.
***
The sky was cloudy that day.
Junmyeon wasn’t even given the chance to breathe when someone abruptly pulled him into a hug.
He was about to protest, but the next thing he knew, a pair of warm lips—familiar warm lips, to be exact—were being pressed against his and his protest vanished instantly to heaven-knew-where. Junmyeon slowly fluttered his eyes close, recognizing the taste of his attacker’s lips. He opened his mouth slightly when the other person nudge his lips with his tongue, asking for permission, and Junmyeon easily surrendered himself.
"Hello, pretty one."
Junmyeon wanted to roll his eyes at the lame remark but did nothing, because he was actually happy with it.
“Hm,” the male hummed against his lips, their lips were both wet from the kisses. “I love you.”
Junmyeon smiled as he opened his eyes and stole another kiss. “I love you too, Yifan...” He was about to say something else, but his words were stuck in his throat upon seeing Yifan. Something looked different—oh. His boyfriend looked stunning like usual, but it was his uniform that caught Junmyeon speechless. “Yifan, you’re...”
Yifan hummed again and hid his face in the crook of Junmyeon’s neck. “Yeah.”
“Your uniform,” Junmyeon whispered. “You—you got accepted...?”
“Yeah.”
Junmyeon’s lips trembled and he didn’t think he would be able to continue his words. But then he gathered his strength and lifted up a hand to touch the taller male’s cheek. Junmyeon knew Yifan would be able to see right through him, but he faked it anyway.
“Congratulations,” Junmyeon did his best to smile earnestly. “I’m proud of you.”
Yifan said nothing but to rest one of his hands on Junmyeon’s silky hair. Junmyeon leaned to hug Yifan tightly, not wanting the latter male to look at his forced smile.
“I’m really, really proud of you...”