M: Today I want to talk about Jergens body cream.
E: Who is Jergens and why do you have his body cream? He sounds like a Danish exchange student. I bet he's probably a mate of the freakishly youthful looking Ole Henriksen. Or do I mean Henrik Olesen? Who knows. They are probably raising money to go interrailing by selling beauty products.
M: Finnish, perhaps. He probably eats a lot of herring.
E: I should imagine so. Tell me more.
M: Well, you know how moisturising and I do not really see eye to eye?
E: I am aware of this. Moisturising isn't a close friend of mine either. We have drifted apart.
M: Moisturising, in a nutshell, is stupid.
E: Boring too. Boring and stupid.
M: So, you will imagine my surprise when I bought my third tube of this.