Aiko herself probably unconsciously seeked for that. However, that wasn’t given to her.
Although Hajime can agree that she played a part in overthrowing the church, he believed that even without Aiko, Teio would have still somehow managed to exterminate them someway or another, he thought that bearing the burden alone was a bit much, so as if he was troubled he scratched his cheek as he opened his mouth.
[Even if you say that, Sensei. The direct cause was due to Teio’s breath, Sensei only helped out a little? I don’t think you should take on the burden as if everything was your fault…..]
[Those kind of things don’t matter! I certainly…...understood the possibility of them being killed but I still helped Teio-san. That’s no different than directly murdering them!]
Unexpectedly, Aiko gave out her rebuttal strongly. Aiko herself probably felt ashamed that she raised her voice as she shrank down apologetically. Looking at Aiko with a side glance, after a moment of silence, Hajime calmly asked.
[.....Do you regret it?]
[~......No, at that time, I was resolute with Teio-san…..because I couldn’t overlook what the church was doing….to help you…..if that was left alone then the students would surely have had terrible experiences…..that’s why…..]
While Aiko was holding back a painful voice, she replied that she “Had no regrets”.
At that time, when she looked at Ishtar and them who had cornered Hajime, not just for Hajime but also for the sake of her students to not have to fight, her resolution to dirty her hands was real. Even now that was still unshaken. However, she was suffering while carrying the people who she’s killed on her back, it wasn’t something that reasoning could solve.
Hajime let out a small sigh that wouldn’t be noticed by Aiko as he glanced towards the side at Aiko who looked like she was suffering. Why did a teacher like Aiko reveal such heavy feelings to a student like me. Even though I only came here to kill some time…...he grieved in his mind.
And, suddenly, he recalled Aiko’s feelings that Yue and Shizuku pointed out earlier in the day and worried if that was the cause. It appears that Hajime was leaving Aiko’s student category in full-blast.
Hajime’s eyes were wandering around. He was completely looking for words.
[About Sensei, will you still be a Sensei from now on?]
[Eh?]
Towards Hajime’s abrupt question, Aiko’s expression unintentionally became blank. And she remembered that she was asked the same question once before. At that time, she should have answered with confidence, [Naturally!]
[..............]
Now she was unable to immediately answer. That was because she questioned herself if she should declare herself as a teacher after having killed people. Aiko was tightly clenching her teeth and her expression distorted. He understood that Aiko was having an extreme conflict whirling within her mind.
As if he expected it, on behalf of Aiko who couldn’t answer, Hajime began to talk.
[If, Sensei says that she’ll continue being our Sensei from now on…...will you listen to my selfishness as a student]
[Selfishness…..is it?]
Aiko who had a bad complexion and seemed to collapse at any moment, showed a perplexed expression from the words that came out of Hajime’s mouth.
[Yeah, my selfishness]
Hajime removed his sights from the monument while nodding and faced Aiko to match their eyes together. As she was being stared at Hajime, from somewhere within her, warmth was starting to well up and as if attracted by it Aiko also stared back.
After Hajime confirmed that he was firmly reflected in Aiko’s eyes, he slowly said his words. Exactly as Hajime said before, they were hopelessly selfish words.
[Sensei…..I want Sensei to feel guilty about it. I want you to shoulder it’s weight. Justly fighting, justly shouldering it, justly suffering, and justly complaining. To be human-like is slightly dazzling. I’m already unable to feel anything after all…...you’ll be a good example for me to not forget my “Humanity”. So that’s why, continue shouldering it from now on. I’ll properly watch such a human-like Sensei after all. If I do so then even after I return to Japan, I’ll be able to live humanely]
[Nagumo-kun……]
Aiko’s eyes opened up widely towards Hajime’s words. She would have never thought in her dreams that he’d not blame her nor cheer her, but instead tell her to continue suffering from now on. But, towards that selfishness, in a sense, made her remember the shock which came from killing as it formed ominous clouds within Aiko’s heart.
The results of her determination and actions were serious. All the more it was painful as well. She wanted to run away and almost became broken. Her natural character made it extra painful because she was determined and resolute.
But, when she looked at herself, she had people who were willing to help her. The important things that were lost, there’s a person who can’t feel but remember them.
Aiko thought.
------Ahh, how very selfish. What mercilessly gentle selfishness
A transparent drop ran down Aiko’s cheeks. Everything she’s endured up until now in order to not cry easily crumbled.
As Aiko was shedding tears, Hajime averted his glance and turned his back as he troubled conveyed the his last words.
[Ma~a, times when it’s so painful that it seems like you’d break, by all means…...since there’s no one here…..since there’s really~ no one here so it won’t be embarrassing…...I’ll lend you my back]
[~....Really…..people like you are…..]
I’ll pretend that I didn’t notice that Aiko was crying? is what Hajime seemed to say as he showed his back, Aiko approached while smiling and crying and buried her face into his back.
[Then, I’ll be borrowing it for a bit. …..Nagumo-kun]
[Alright, Sensei]
Aiko’s cheeks loosened up because of Hajime’s casual answer and she entrusted her body. While shedding tears as if they were everything she’s saved up, she once again vowed. In other words, she’ll continue being a teacher. And continue shouldering her sins. If a selfish student would be watching her then…..she felt like she’ll be able to do her best.
The shadow of the two people expanded towards the east. As the night fell, the sounds of sobs resounded for a while.
After this, Hajime returned to the royal palace along with Aiko after she had finished crying but, while blushing randomly and looking down shamefully, Aiko was gracefully walking besides Hajime, to be honest, this may have done it…...it goes without saying that he was breaking out in cold sweat.
And sure enough, Yue and them noticed and it’s needless to say what happened when he was taken into their room. About this case, Shia and them and i, Yue’s silent expressionless stare n particular was the most painful.
It should be noted, that they coincidentally met up with David and them of the temple knights as they returned to the royal palace but…...it appears that, in the end their love for Aiko won.
To begin with, the reason why they accompanied Aiko as guards was due to various senses of values but, after being forcefully pulled away from Aiko when they returned to the Kingdom and was forced to descend the mountain without being confirming her safety made them start harboring doubt for the people of the church. Although they were considerably shocked when the truth of the church and god was revealed, as expected they still came to the conclusion that they couldn’t hate Aiko.
Although they kinda had a feeling of complete desperation hanging around them…..from now on, while believing in the “Goddess of Fertility”, they decided to revive and serve to protect the Kingdom as knights. Thinking about it again, it felt as if they carried a strange sublime feeling of love for Aiko but…...surely they had lots of things to think about as well.