“So,” Jaebum said, finally meeting Jinyoung's eyes for the first time since they'd sat down to lunch together twenty minutes ago. “I think that we should just be friends.”
He should have seen this was coming. Jaebum loved to eat, but he hadn't even touched his heaping plate of chicken since setting it down on the table. In fact, he'd pretty much spent the last twenty minutes blankly swirling it around in teriyaki sauce without eating it. It was most likely an over-saturated mess by now. Which was too bad, a complete waste if you thought about it. Jaebum had paid for it out of pocket, and now he'd probably wind up throwing it away.
Jinyoung wondered why he was thinking of that instead of the fact that he was being rejected in the school cafeteria, but wasted food was an easier thing to face up to, he thought. Wasted money was bad, but not so upsetting as six months wasted wanting someone if it was only meant to end like this.
Jinyoung set down his chopsticks and looked back at Jaebum. “You have someone else you like?”
“That and this are two different things. I’m trying to answer you honestly, not bring someone else into it.”
“Then...”
Jaebum looked at him seriously. “I’m really sorry. And I’m incredibly thankful for your feelings. But I really do think of you as my friend, in the best way possible. Like this, I don’t think it’s possible for me to date you.”
Jinyoung stared at him.
“I mean, if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, I totally understand,” Jaebum said quickly. “If that’s not what you want, I’ll leave you alone for a while. But I would like to stay close. If not now, maybe later? That’s probably selfish, I’m sorry.”
What was he supposed to say? Yeah, you're right, that's selfish? I really do like you, and I have no idea what I’m going to do around you anymore now that I know you don’t like me?
Jinyoung picked up his chopsticks and stabbed into his chicken. “All right,” he said flatly. “We can be friends. I hope you find someone wonderful.”
Jaebum didn't say anything for a long time. “You're mad at me,” he finally said, his voice quiet. “But you’ll find someone, too. Someone perfect for you. Please don’t let anything get in the way of that.”
Jinyoung glared, but said nothing. Easy for you to say. Your heart isn't broken by this. This has been, and always will be, a love I fell into alone.
0
When he made it back to the dorm room, he practically body slammed into the bed. His roommate BamBam—or so he called him since it was less of a mouthful than the alternative—glanced up briefly from the bag of chips he was demolishing, then decided to ignore him. Jinyoung wasn’t in the mood to be ignored. He grabbed his pillow and started beating it, muttering uncharacteristic curses under his breath.
BamBam pulled out his headphones. “What are you doing? Did you get dumped?”
Jinyoung scowled at him. “I hate you.”
“Eh? Oh wait, you DID get dumped? By who? You were dating someone?” To his annoyance, BamBam looked more thrilled at the prospect of gossip than sympathetic over his broken heart.
“Wasn’t. Just had a self-destructive crush on them that wound up blowing up in my face. That’s all.”
“Oh.” BamBam attempted to look solemn. “Well. At least now you know where you stand.”
“I really, really hate you.”
“Sorry!” He bit his lips. “It’s whoever’s loss, anyways. I’m sure there are a lot of people at this school who want to date you.”
“Oh yeah? Like who?”
“And I’m sure you’ll have fun finding them.”
Jinyoung sat up. “Your friend Yugyeom is Im Jaebum’s roommate.”
“Yeah?”
“Does he know if Jaebum is seeing someone?”
“Why would he tell me?”
“Have you noticed someone coming over a lot when you’re visiting?” Jinyoung persisted.
“Other than you, you mean?”
“Obviously.”
“Let’s see…” He tilted his head. “Choi Youngjae from his bio class. Oh, and Mark.”
“Mark? I didn’t know they were close.”
“Yeah, he’s been over a lot recently. He’s really cool, isn’t he? He lets me use his ripboard when he and Jaebum are busy.”
“Busy with what?”
“I don’t know. I have to leave the room to use the board safely, you know.”
Jinyoung sighed. If Jaebum didn’t want to date him, there had to be someone—but Mark? The two weren’t exactly close, even though it seemed things were heading in that direction if BamBam was at all to be believed. But why would it be Mark, of all people? Jinyoung had shared classes with him last year, and though he’d found Mark to be as uncommunicative as a brick wall for the majority of the semester, out of nowhere he'd started revealing an upbeat side no one thought existed. An upbeat side that had mainly entailed pulling random pranks on Jinyoung and then cackling like a maniac over them. Jinyoung had thought he was a really weird guy.
No way someone like that is Jaebum’s type, Jinyoung thought. I’ll find out who it really is and make sure they know I absolutely won’t lose to them, no matter what.
0
But, inexplicably, Mark Tuan was sitting at their cafeteria table right next to Jaebum the next afternoon. The two of them were leaning over an open textbook on the table, chatting comfortably between them. Jinyoung stood there awkwardly. He knew he was being irrational, but it felt like Jaebum was replacing him. It even made sense a little. Even if he was returning to their lunches as if nothing was happening, there was no way to go right back to the easy comradery they’d once had. By confessing to Jaebum, he’d changed that. Of course Jaebum would want someone else around to make the situation less awkward.
But why Mark?