Bringing Conversations to Life
Too often, leaders become mired in one type of
engagement, trying the same tactics again and again,
hoping for different outcomes. I call getting stuck in Level
I conversations the “Tell-Sell-Yell Syndrome.” A leader
who realizes her team is not getting her message about
the vision and mission of the company may “tell more,”
hoping that more information will make a difference. If
telling more doesn’t create the results she wants, the leader
may “sell” her ideas to get people on board; when this
doesn’t work, she is inclined to “yell” to get results.
Yet employees don’t want more “vision”; they want
deeper engagement with leaders who can help them
execute the vision. When those dynamics don’t emerge,
employees often go into protective behaviors, pulling back
from engagement rather than stepping into it.
Just as we can become stuck at Level I, we can get stuck
at Level II. In the case of Level II positional dynamics, we
get neurochemically hooked on being right. This dynamic
is about advocating and inquiring with the intention of
influencing others to our point of view. We can actually
get addicted to being right. When we are right (and others
are wrong), our brain produces feel-good hormones. An
addiction to being right causes many corporate cultures
to become toxic. We see lots of “alpha dominance” and its
corollary, people who are drummed into submission and
lose their voice, then complain about it.