We mustn't hurry this," Miss Honey said, "so let's have another cup of tea. And do eat that other slice of bread. You must be hungry."
Matilda took the second slice and started eating it slowly. The margarine wasn't at all bad. She doubted whether she could have told the difference if she hadn't known. "Miss Honey," she said suddenly, "do they pay you very badly at our school?"
Miss Honey looked up sharply. "Not too badly," she said. "I get about the same as the others."
"But it must still be very little if you are so dreadfully poor," Matilda said. "Do all the teachers live like this, with no furniture and no kitchen stove and no bathroom?"
"No, they don't," Miss Honey said rather stiffly. "I just happen to be the exception."
"I expect you just happen to like living in a very simple way," Matilda said, probing a little further. "It must make house cleaning an awful lot easier and you don't have furniture to polish or any of those silly little ornaments lying around that have to be dusted every day. And I suppose if you don't have a fridge you don't have to go out and buy all sorts of junky things like eggs and mayonnaise and ice-cream to fill it up with. It must save a terrific lot of shopping."
At this point Matilda noticed that Miss Honey's face had gone all tight and peculiar-looking. Her whole body had become rigid. Her shoulders were hunched up high and her lips were pressed together tight and she sat there gripping her mug of tea in both hands and staring down into it as though searching for a way to answer these not-quite-so-innocent questions.
There followed a rather long and embarrassing silence. In the space of thirty seconds the atmosphere in the tiny room had changed completely and now it was vibrating with awkwardness and secrets. Matilda said, "I am very sorry I asked you those questions, Miss Honey. It is not any of my business."
At this, Miss Honey seemed to rouse herself. She gave a shake of her shoulders and then very carefully she placed her mug on the tray.
"Why shouldn't you ask?" she said. "You were bound to ask in the end. You are much too bright not to have wondered. Perhaps I even wanted you to ask. Maybe that is why I invited you here after all. As a matter of fact you are the first visitor to come to the cottage since I moved in two years ago."
Matilda said nothing. She could feel the tension growing and growing in the room.
"You are so much wiser than your years, my dear," Miss Honey went on, "that it quite staggers me. Although you look like a child, you are not really a child at all because your mind and your powers of reasoning seem to be fully grown-up. So I suppose we might call you a grown-up child, if you see what I mean."
Matilda still did not say anything. She was waiting for what was coming next.
"Up to now", Miss Honey went on, "I have found it impossible to talk to anyone about my problems. I couldn't face the embarrassment, and anyway I lack the courage. Any courage I had was knocked out of me when I was young. But now, all of a sudden I have a sort of desperate wish to tell everything to somebody. I know you are only a tiny little girl, but there is some kind of magic in you somewhere. I've seen it with my own eyes."
Matilda became very alert. The voice she was hearing was surely crying out for help. It must be. It had to be.
Then the voice spoke again. "Have some more tea," it said. "I think there's still a drop left."
Matilda nodded.
Miss Honey poured tea into both mugs and added milk. Again she cupped her own mug in both hands and sat there sipping.
There was quite a long silence before she said, "May I tell you a story?"
"Of course," Matilda said.
"I am twenty-three years old," Miss Honey said, "and when I was born my father was a doctor in this village. We had a nice old house, quite large, red-brick. It's tucked away in the woods behind the hills. I don't think you'd know it."
Matilda kept silent.
"I was born there," Miss Honey said. "And then came the first tragedy. My mother died when I was two. My father, a busy doctor, had to have someone to run the house and to look after me. So he invited my mother's unmarried sister, my aunt, to come and live with us. She agreed and she came."
Matilda was listening intently. "How old was the aunt when she moved in?" she asked.
"Not very old," Miss Honey said. "I should say about thirty. But I hated her right from the start. I missed my mother terribly. And the aunt was not a kind person. My father didn't know that because he was hardly every around but when he did put in an appearance, the aunt behaved differently."
Miss Honey paused and sipped her tea. "I can't think why I am telling you all this," she said, embarrassed.
"Go on," Matilda said. "Please."
"Well," Miss Honey said, "then came the second tragedy. When I was five, my father died very suddenly. One day he was there and the next day he was gone. And so I was left to live alone with my aunt. She became my legal guardian. She had all the powers of a parent over me. And in some way or another, she became the actual owner of the house."
"How did your father die?" Matilda asked.
"It is interesting you should ask that," Miss Honey said. "I myself was much too young to question it at the time, but I found out later that there was a good deal of mystery surrounding his death."
"Didn't they know how he died?" Matilda asked.
"Well, not exactly," Miss Honey said, hesitating, "You see, no one could believe that he would ever have done it. He was such a very sane and sensible man."
"Done what?" Matilda a"Kille
d.
Matilda was stunn
?" she gasped.
"That's what it looked like," Miss Honey said. "But who knows?" She shrugged and turned away and stared out of the tiny window.
"I know what you're thinking," Matilda said. "You're thinking that the aunt killed him and made it look as though he'd done it himself."
"I am not thinking anything," Miss Honey said. "One must never think things like that without proof."
The little room became quiet. Matilda noticed that the hands clasping the mug were trembling slightly. "What happened after that?" she asked. "What happened when you were left all alone with the aunt? Wasn't she nice to you?"
"Nice?" Miss Honey said. "She was a demon. As soon as my father was out of the way she became a holy terror. My life was a nightmare."
"What did she do to you?" Matilda asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," Miss Honey said. "It's too horrible. But in the end I became so frightened of her I used to start shaking when she came into the room. You must understand I was never a strong character like you. I was always shy and retiring."
"Didn't you have any other relations?" Matilda asked. "Any uncles or aunts or grannies who would come and see you?"
"None that I knew about," Miss Honey said. "They were all either dead or they'd gone to Australia. And that's still the way it is now, I'm afraid."
"So you grew up in that house alone with your aunt," Matilda said. "But you must have gone to school,"
"Of course," Miss Honey said. "I went to the same school you're going to now. But I lived at home." Miss Honey paused and stared down into her empty tea-mug. "I think what I am trying to explain to you," she said, "is that over the years I became so completely cowed and dominated by this monster of an aunt that when she gave me an order, no matter what it was, I obeyed it instantly. That can happen, you know. And by the time I was ten, I had become her slave. I did all the housework. I made her bed. I washed and ironed for her. I did all the cooking. I learned how to do everything."
"But surely you could have complained to somebody?" Matilda said.
"To whom?" Miss Honey said. "And anyway, I was far too terrified to complain. I told you, I was her slave."
"Did she beat you?"
"Let's not go into details," Miss Honey said.
"How simply awful," Matilda said. "Did you cry nearly all the time?"
"Only when I was alone," Miss Honey said. "I wasn't allowed to cry in front of her. But I lived in fear."
"What happened when you left school?" Matilda asked.
"I was a bright pupil," Miss Honey said. "I could easily have got into university. But there was no question of that."
"Why not, Miss Honey?"
"Because I was needed at home to do the work."
"Then how did you become a teacher?" Matilda asked.
"There is a Teacher's Training College in Reading," Miss Honey said. "That's only forty minutes' bus-ride away from here. I was allowed to go there on condition I came straight home again every afternoon to do the washing and ironing and to clean the house and cook the supper."
"How old were you then?" Matilda asked.
"When I went into Teacher's Training I was eighteen," Miss Honey said.
"You could have just packed up and walked away," Matilda said.
"Not until I got a job," Miss Honey said. "And don't forget, I was by then dominated by my aunt to such an extent that I wouldn't have dared. You can't imagine what it's like to be completely controlled like that by a very strong personality. It
turns you to jelly. So that's it. That's the sad story of my life. Now I've talked enough."
"Please don't stop," Matilda said. "You haven't finished yet. How did you manage to get away from her in the end and come and live in this funny little house?"
"Ah, that was something," Miss Honey said. "I was proud of that."
"Tell me," Matilda said.
"Well," Miss Honey said, "when I got my teacher's job, the aunt told me I owed her a lot of money. I asked her why. She said, 'Because I've been feeding you for all these years and buying your shoes and your clothes!' She told me it added up to thousands and I had to pay her back by giving her my salary for the next ten years. I'll give you one pound a week pocket-money,' she said. 'But that's all you're going to get.' She even arranged with the school authorities to have my salary paid directly into her own bank. She made me sign the paper."
"You shouldn't have done that," Matilda said. "Your salary was your chance of freedom."
"I know, I know," Miss Honey said. "B
เราจะรีบนี้ นางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า "กันได้อีกถ้วยชา และกินที่ชิ้นอื่น ๆ ของขนมปัง จะหิว"มาทิลดาแห่งเอาชิ้นที่สอง และเริ่มกินช้า เนยเทียมไม่เลว เธอ doubted ว่า เธอสามารถบอกความแตกต่างถ้า เธอไม่ได้รู้จักกัน "นางสาวน้ำผึ้ง เธอกล่าวทันที "ไม่ได้จ่ายคุณเลวมากที่โรงเรียนของเรา"นางสาวน้ำผึ้งมองขึ้นอย่างรวดเร็ว "ไม่มากเกินไปไม่ดี เธอกล่าว "ผมได้เหมือนกับคนอื่นๆ""แต่ต้องยังมีน้อยมากถ้าจะให้ดี dreadfully มาทิลดาแห่งกล่าวว่า "ทำครูทุกคนอยู่อย่างนี้ ไม่เฟอร์นิเจอร์ครัวไม่เตา และน้ำไม่""ไม่ พวกเขาไม่ นางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า เป็น stiffly "ฉันเพิ่งเกิดขึ้นจะเป็นข้อยกเว้น""ผมคาดว่า คุณเกิดชอบอาศัยอยู่ในง่ายมาก มาทิลดาแห่งกล่าว อำนวยความสะดวกโดยอาศัย "มันต้องทำให้บ้านทำความสะอาดง่ายมากแวะ และคุณไม่มีเฟอร์นิเจอร์ขัด หรือเครื่องประดับเล็ก ๆ เหล่านั้นโง่อยู่สถานที่ใด ๆ ต้องมี dusted ทุกวัน และฉันคิดว่า ถ้า คุณไม่มีตู้เย็นที่คุณไม่ต้องซื้อ หาทุกสิ่งเป็นเช่นไข่ และมายองเนส และไอศกรีมเพื่อเติมให้เต็มด้วย มันต้องประหยัดมากมากมายแหล่งช็อปปิ้ง"จุดนี้ มาทิลดาแห่งพบว่า นางสาวน้ำผึ้งหน้าแล้วทั้งแน่น และ มองแปลก ร่างกายของเธอทั้งหมดได้กลายเป็นแข็ง ไหล่ของเธอถูก hunched ขึ้นสูง และริมฝีปากของเธอถูกกดกันแน่นและเธอนั่งเธอ mug ชาในมือทั้งสองจับยึด และจ้องมองลงมาเหมือนค้นหาวิธีการตอบคำถามเหล่านี้ไม่เงียบดังบริสุทธิ์There followed a rather long and embarrassing silence. In the space of thirty seconds the atmosphere in the tiny room had changed completely and now it was vibrating with awkwardness and secrets. Matilda said, "I am very sorry I asked you those questions, Miss Honey. It is not any of my business."At this, Miss Honey seemed to rouse herself. She gave a shake of her shoulders and then very carefully she placed her mug on the tray."Why shouldn't you ask?" she said. "You were bound to ask in the end. You are much too bright not to have wondered. Perhaps I even wanted you to ask. Maybe that is why I invited you here after all. As a matter of fact you are the first visitor to come to the cottage since I moved in two years ago."Matilda said nothing. She could feel the tension growing and growing in the room."You are so much wiser than your years, my dear," Miss Honey went on, "that it quite staggers me. Although you look like a child, you are not really a child at all because your mind and your powers of reasoning seem to be fully grown-up. So I suppose we might call you a grown-up child, if you see what I mean."Matilda still did not say anything. She was waiting for what was coming next."ถึงตอนนี้" นางสาวน้ำผึ้งไป "ได้พบได้ไปพูดคุยกับทุกคนเกี่ยวกับปัญหาของฉัน ฉันไม่สามารถเผชิญกับความลำบากใจที่ และหรือ ผมขาดความกล้า ความกล้าหาญใด ๆ ผมถูกโบว์ลิ่งจากฉันเมื่อหนุ่ม แต่เดี๋ยวนี้ ทันทีมีการเรียงลำดับของหมดหวังอยากบอกทุกคน ฉันรู้ว่า คุณเป็นเพียงเล็กน้อยผู้หญิง แต่มีบางชนิดของวิเศษในตัวคุณอยู่ ผมเคยเห็นมัน ด้วยตาของตัวเอง"มาทิลดาแห่งกลายเป็นเตือนมาก ก็เธอไม่ได้ยินเสียงร้องไห้ออกสำหรับความช่วยเหลือ มันต้องเป็น มันมีให้แล้วเสียงพูดอีก "มีน้ำชาอีก มันกล่าวว่า "ผมคิดว่า ยังมีวางซ้าย"มาทิลดาแห่งพยักหน้านางสาวน้ำผึ้ง poured ชาลงในแก้วทั้งสอง และเพิ่มน้ำนม อีกเธอ cupped mug ในสองมือของเธอเอง และนั่งจิบมีความเงียบค่อนข้างนานก่อนที่เธอกล่าวว่า "อาจฉันบอกคุณเรื่อง""แน่นอน มาทิลดาแห่งกล่าวว่า"ฉันอายุยี่สิบสามปี นางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า "และเมื่อผมเกิด พ่อเป็นหมอในหมู่บ้านนี้ เรามีบ้านเก่าที่เป็นดี กว้าง สีแดงอิฐ มันจะซ่อนตัวอยู่ในป่าหลังเขา ไม่คิดว่า คุณจะรู้"มาทิลดาแห่งเก็บเงียบนางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า "ผมเกิดมี "และโศกนาฏกรรมครั้งแรกต่อมาก็ แม่เสียชีวิตเมื่อสอง พ่อ แพทย์ว่าง ต้องมีคนทำงานบ้าน และดูแลผมได้ เพื่อให้ เขาได้รับเชิญของแม่น้องสาวโสด ป้า มาอยู่กับเรา เธอตกลง แล้วเธอมา"มาทิลดาแห่งถูกฟัง intently "อายุเป็นป้าเมื่อเธอย้ายใน" เธอถาม"ไม่เก่ามาก นางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าว "ฉันควรพูดประมาณสามสิบ แต่ผมขี้เกียจขวาของเธอตั้งแต่เริ่มต้น ฉันพลาดแม่ฟ้า และป้าไม่ใช่คนดี พ่อไม่รู้ว่า เพราะเขาได้แทบทุกสถาน แต่เมื่อเขาไม่ได้ใส่ในลักษณะ ป้าที่ทำงานแตกต่างกัน"นางสาวน้ำผึ้งหยุดชั่วคราว และ sipped ชาของเธอ "ผมไม่คิดว่า ทำไมฉันบอกคุณทั้งหมดนี้, " เธอกล่าวว่า อับอายได้"ไป มาทิลดาแห่งกล่าวว่า "กรุณา""ดี นางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า, " นั้นมาโศกนาฏกรรมสอง เมื่อ 5 พ่อเสียชีวิตอย่างกระทันหันมาก วันหนึ่งเขาไม่มี และในวันถัดไปเขาไป และดังนั้น ฉันถูกทิ้งให้อยู่ตามลำพังกับคุณป้า เธอเป็นผู้ปกครองของฉัน เธอมีอำนาจทั้งหมดเป็นแม่ข้า และในบางวิธีหรืออื่น เธอกลายเป็นเจ้าบ้านที่แท้จริง""วิธีทำของคุณพ่อตาย" มาทิลดาแห่งถาม"เป็นที่น่าสนใจคุณควรถามว่า นางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า "ตัวผมมีมากเกินไปเด็กจะถามเวลา แต่ฉันพบภายหลังว่า มีข้อเสนอที่ดีของลึกลับรอบตาย""ไม่ได้จะรู้ว่าเขาตาย" มาทิลดาแห่งถามกล่าวว่า "ดี ไม่ตรง นางสาวน้ำผึ้ง hesitating "คุณเห็น ไม่อาจเชื่อว่า เขาจะเคยได้กระทำมัน เขาได้เช่นชายคนหนึ่งบุคคล และเหมาะสมมาก""ทำอะไร" มาทิลดาแห่ง "Killedมาทิลดาแห่งถูก stunn? "เธอ gaspedนางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า "เป็นอะไรที่มันดูเหมือน "แต่ใครรู้" เธอยักไหล่ และหัน และเริ่มจากหน้าต่างเล็ก ๆ"I know what you're thinking," Matilda said. "You're thinking that the aunt killed him and made it look as though he'd done it himself.""I am not thinking anything," Miss Honey said. "One must never think things like that without proof."The little room became quiet. Matilda noticed that the hands clasping the mug were trembling slightly. "What happened after that?" she asked. "What happened when you were left all alone with the aunt? Wasn't she nice to you?""Nice?" Miss Honey said. "She was a demon. As soon as my father was out of the way she became a holy terror. My life was a nightmare.""What did she do to you?" Matilda asked."I don't want to talk about it," Miss Honey said. "It's too horrible. But in the end I became so frightened of her I used to start shaking when she came into the room. You must understand I was never a strong character like you. I was always shy and retiring.""Didn't you have any other relations?" Matilda asked. "Any uncles or aunts or grannies who would come and see you?""None that I knew about," Miss Honey said. "They were all either dead or they'd gone to Australia. And that's still the way it is now, I'm afraid.""So you grew up in that house alone with your aunt," Matilda said. "But you must have gone to school,""แน่นอน นางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า "ฉันไปโรงเรียนเดียวกันที่คุณกำลังจะไปตอนนี้ แต่ผมอาศัยอยู่ที่บ้าน" นางสาวน้ำผึ้งหยุดชั่วคราว และเริ่มลงในชา-mug ของเธอว่างเปล่า "ผมคิดว่า สิ่งที่ฉันกำลังพยายามอธิบายให้คุณ เธอกล่าวว่า "คือปี ฉันกลายเป็นสมบูรณ์ดังนั้น cowed และครอบงำ โดยมอนสเตอร์นี้ของป้าว่า เมื่อเธอให้ฉันสั่ง ไม่ว่าสิ่งที่มันเป็น ฉันเชื่อฟังมันทันที ที่อาจเกิดขึ้น คุณรู้ และตามเวลาผมสิบ ฉันได้กลายเป็นทาสของเธอ ฉันทำงานบ้านทั้งหมด ฉันทำเตียงของเธอ ล้าง และ ironed สำหรับเธอ ไม่ได้ทั้งหมดทำอาหาร ฉันเรียนรู้วิธีการทำทุกอย่าง""แต่แน่นอน คุณสามารถได้แนะนำให้ใคร" มาทิลดาแห่งกล่าว"กับใคร" นางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าว "แล้วอย่างไรก็ตาม ผมคนกลัวเกินไปที่จะบ่น ฉันบอกคุณ ผมเป็นทาสของเธอ""ไม่เธอชนะคุณ"นางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า "เราไม่ไปลงรายละเอียด,""อย่างไรก็แวะ มาทิลดาแห่งกล่าว "ก็คุณร้องไห้เกือบตลอดเวลาหรือไม่""เฉพาะเมื่ออยู่คนเดียว นางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า "ฉันไม่สามารถร้องไห้หน้าเธอ แต่ในความกลัว""เมื่อคุณโรงเรียนเกิดอะไรขึ้น" มาทิลดาแห่งถามนางสาวน้ำผึ้งกล่าวว่า "ผมเป็นนักเรียนที่สดใส "ไม่ได้มีผมเข้ามหาวิทยาลัย แต่มีคำถามไม่ว่า""ทำไมไม่ นางสาวน้ำผึ้ง""เพราะฉันต้องอยู่บ้านทำงาน""แล้วว่ามาเป็นครู" มาทิลดาแห่งถาม"There is a Teacher's Training College in Reading," Miss Honey said. "That's only forty minutes' bus-ride away from here. I was allowed to go there on condition I came straight home again every afternoon to do the washing and ironing and to clean the house and cook the supper.""How old were you then?" Matilda asked.
"When I went into Teacher's Training I was eighteen," Miss Honey said.
"You could have just packed up and walked away," Matilda said.
"Not until I got a job," Miss Honey said. "And don't forget, I was by then dominated by my aunt to such an extent that I wouldn't have dared. You can't imagine what it's like to be completely controlled like that by a very strong personality. It
turns you to jelly. So that's it. That's the sad story of my life. Now I've talked enough."
"Please don't stop," Matilda said. "You haven't finished yet. How did you manage to get away from her in the end and come and live in this funny little house?"
"Ah, that was something," Miss Honey said. "I was proud of that."
"Tell me," Matilda said.
"Well," Miss Honey said, "when I got my teacher's job, the aunt told me I owed her a lot of money. I asked her why. She said, 'Because I've been feeding you for all these years and buying your shoes and your clothes!' She told me it added up to thousands and I had to pay her back by giving her my salary for the next ten years. I'll give you one pound a week pocket-money,' she said. 'But that's all you're going to get.' She even arranged with the school authorities to have my salary paid directly into her own bank. She made me sign the paper."
"You shouldn't have done that," Matilda said. "Your salary was your chance of freedom."
"I know, I know," Miss Honey said. "B
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