Within 6 months I LOST MY JOB.
I was dismissed on the grounds of incapacity as a result of the accident.
I had lost my income ... and for lack of a better word, my manhood.
suitcaseMy past life, and my ability to care for my family had been taken from me. In fact, the doctors told me I may NEVER be able to work again.
Before long I was running out of money because I couldn’t work.
And it was at this point that sadly, I began to plan my own exit from this world.
Then, that Christmas, my dad’s friend’s son committed suicide. No note.
No reason. He just left his family behind in anguish.
And for me, that was a “light bulb moment.” I was mad at myself for being so selfish and even thinking about exiting the world, when I had two young kids and a beautiful wife.
A couple days later, as I sat in my garden watching my kids play on the trampoline,
I realized, even if I had nothing left but my family, they alone were worth living for.
epiphanyAnd that was a major turning point.
I became determined to walk again from that moment.
I sought private counseling and physical therapy, even acupuncture—anything I could think of to try and get myself back.
But that was only part of my immediate problem ...
With no job, my severance gone, and my savings dwindling ...
I needed to find some way to provide for my family.
I had already started selling our things just to stay afloat.
We even sold our cars just to pay bills.
Soon, we were down to our last $5,000.
Like many people, I was a total control freak—meaning, I wanted to be in control of my life. My income. My ability to make money—so we could live well.
But as a result of the accident, I lost control of everything.
And that really was a direct hit to my well-being and feeling like a man.
Everything, it seemed, had been taken from me.
Even though I no longer wanted to die, I had lost everything I worked hard for. Through no fault of my own, I had been rendered powerless. And that lack of control drove me nuts.
Up to that point in my life, I had leaned entirely on my ability to work hard. It was my work ethic that was largely responsible for all my corporate success since I didn’t have education or other qualifications.
And now that I had been stripped of my ability to work hard, I was totally at a loss.