Two days later here they were. One alive, crying his heart out, and the other dead and unable to see or hear the tears being cried out in his name.
"Tanaka, they need to cover the coffin," Yamaguchi repeated, finally looking inside. "It’s time."
"For what? He’s already dead!" Even if he spoke it, his brain didn’t register the possibility. If he woke up tomorrow then he would see E. He would see E’s smile. He would see E’s laugh. "I don’t want this. Why him and not me? Things were going great finally! How can you act normally after E’s dead?"
"Enough!" Azuma called loudly, shoving the umbrella onto Teddy’s arms, who dashed over to Tsuji and Mamoru for protection." Azuma cried out, gritting her teeth, she felt so useless. Her chest rose and her eyes filled with brimming tears but she didn’t say a thing and only walked away quickly. The rain pouring on her was something she could handle; feeling so empty after a death wasn’t.
.
Living for more than one hundred years, quitting what made you human, being weak in health…was it really all worth it? Was death such a terrifying thing that it needed to be evaded at all costs? Tanaka looked at the grave,
'E.
Rest in Peace. -Your friends.’
There was no date; no one knew for sure how long E had lived. There was no family included; did E even have a family? “That’s stupid, we were his family,” all the good memories spent together, all the time the two had spent…these were the bonds that they had formed.
Rain had stopped a short time ago, but that didn’t mean his mourning was over. The soil was soft over E’s grave, Tanaka noted as his hand touched the grave. “…What a way to kill dreams.” He sighed, but his chest felt as heavy as ever…he had to accept it- E was gone.
"Here," He heard a voice call him, and turning to the left he saw Tsuji offering him a dry towel, "man, you’ll get sick if you stay with those damped clothes."
Tanaka took the towel and started drying himself slowly. He looked down at his hand before also drying the grave, “…I guess death is the only thing we have for sure,”
Tsuji didn’t reply, only inched closer, “…Tanaka, we’re all worried for you.”
"How’s Mamoru?"
"Don’t change the subject," Tsuji deadpanned, but still answered. "…he is just as shaken as the rest of us, but he’ll be fine. Azuma went to god knows where, but we all know that E’s death affected you the most." 'Especially because of the bond you two shared the last few days,'
"I-I- I just can’t believe he’s gone." Tanaka’s face showed fear and weakness; it was such a rare and unpleasing sight…"He’s gone; he’s dead. Why? Why couldn’t we have lived more?"
"I don’t know; I can’t answer that," Tsuji’s shoulders tensed, "but he’s not gone; he will always be around whenever we remember him."
"That’s not a comfort! I can’t see him! I can’t feel him! I can’t touch him! I cannot hug him!" Memories were only that!
The orange haired clicked his tongue, because yes, memories weren’t the same as having the actual thing in front, but they were still important. “He’s not dead if he’s in our hearts.” Was this really the time to say musings? But they were true, Tsuji leaned down to E’s grave, “we met him and…and I’m sure none of us felt alone with him around, and we’re not alone now because…we remember him.”
…Tsuji was right; probably, or at least somewhat. But Tanaka couldn’t think the same as the person who tried so hard to be gentle in front of him. He wasn’t ready. “…I just miss him. I just miss everything.” Because it won’t happen again. Even when Tsuji pulled him into a hug he still thought about how he was only left with memories and dreams of E.
"Yeah, we all miss him." Tsuji sighed, "We all do."