The differences in the ways that men and women communicate have been the subject of countless books, magazine articles, talk show discussions, and jokes. These differences can something make men and women seem mysterious to each other, and can occasionally make communication difficult and confusing. People often jokingly say that men and women are from different planets or that they are different species. But just what are these communication differences and what is their cause?
One basic reason men and women have such different ways of communicating is that they see the purpose of communication differently. Research shows that women use communication as a way of growing closer to people and establishing intimate relationships. Women tend to use language to share thoughts and feelings, and to be supportive. Meanwhile, men tend to see the goal of communication as accomplishing a task. Men most often use language to persuade, argue, convey facts, and demonstrate knowledge.
Although men do not tend to use communication to achieve closeness, they have their own way of bonding. In one study, 75 percent of the men surveyed said that their most meaningful experiences with friends came not through talking, but through shared activities. In a related study, researchers found that fathers tend to show affection to sons by helping them with tasks and challenges. Javier Morales’s experiences certainly support this idea. Says Morales, “My dad and I are really close, but I wouldn’t say we talk very much. We spend a lot of time together doing things. We spent all of last Saturday repairing my car, and this weekend we’re going hiking together. My dad and I have a deep bond. Just because we’re not talking doesn’t mean we’re not sharing important time together.”
The content of what males and females talk about tends to be different as well. Researcher Deborah Tannen has found that while feminine talk tends to focus on feelings, relationships, and people, masculine talk tends to focus on sports, music, and facts.
Women talk to explore problems, but men do not. Instead, men talk to fix problems. This can sometimes cause problems between the sexes. Janet West, a freshman in college, remembers encountering this issue with a male friend recently. “I told my friend Derek about a problem I was having with my parents. He immediately came up with possible solutions to the problem. Being told how to fix the problem was kind of frustrating because it wasn’t what I was looking for. I asked him to stop trying to fix the problem and try talking with me about it instead. He seemed completely confused and said, ‘Why bother talking about a problem unless you’re trying to find a solution to it?”
Another way in which men and women differ is in the way they listen. Research has shown that men tend to place all of their attention on one thing at a time, but women do not. Instead, women commonly divide their attention between a number of things at once and make connections between these different things. Since this comes so easily to women, they are sometimes frustrated when men struggle to do this. For example, a common complaint among women is that when a man is watching television, he often doesn’t hear a question asked by the person sitting right beside him. Sakura Kumi has witnessed this many times in her house. Sakura says, “My mother used to get so frustrated trying to get my father’s attention while he was watching TV, and I did too. So she got into the habit of standing in front of the TV and saying, ‘Hiroshi, I’m about to ask you a question.’ It’s become sort of a family joke.”
Research has shown that these communication differences can be partially explained by the different ways in which the male and female brains are structured and wired. For example, the left side of the brain, where logic and literal thinking are processed, tends to be stronger in men. Meanwhile, women tend to think with the right side, which is where comprehension is processed. The female brain also has more connections between the right and left side, so their thought process is likely to be more complex and sophisticated.
Research has also shown that the different ways that boys and girls are raised have a significant impact on how they communicate. Girls are raised to be more sociable and to recognize and be sensitive to the feelings of others. On the other hand, boys are taught to be more direct and goal-oriented. Being raised in such different ways is bound to create two different styles of communication.
While the differences in the way men and women communicate can sometimes cause confusion, these differences are also what help make women and men such good partners. The strengths and weaknesses of one gender balances out those of the other. This balance is what makes the relationship between women and men so rich, interesting, and satisfying.
The differences in the ways that men and women communicate have been the subject of countless books, magazine articles, talk show discussions, and jokes. These differences can something make men and women seem mysterious to each other, and can occasionally make communication difficult and confusing. People often jokingly say that men and women are from different planets or that they are different species. But just what are these communication differences and what is their cause?One basic reason men and women have such different ways of communicating is that they see the purpose of communication differently. Research shows that women use communication as a way of growing closer to people and establishing intimate relationships. Women tend to use language to share thoughts and feelings, and to be supportive. Meanwhile, men tend to see the goal of communication as accomplishing a task. Men most often use language to persuade, argue, convey facts, and demonstrate knowledge.Although men do not tend to use communication to achieve closeness, they have their own way of bonding. In one study, 75 percent of the men surveyed said that their most meaningful experiences with friends came not through talking, but through shared activities. In a related study, researchers found that fathers tend to show affection to sons by helping them with tasks and challenges. Javier Morales’s experiences certainly support this idea. Says Morales, “My dad and I are really close, but I wouldn’t say we talk very much. We spend a lot of time together doing things. We spent all of last Saturday repairing my car, and this weekend we’re going hiking together. My dad and I have a deep bond. Just because we’re not talking doesn’t mean we’re not sharing important time together.”The content of what males and females talk about tends to be different as well. Researcher Deborah Tannen has found that while feminine talk tends to focus on feelings, relationships, and people, masculine talk tends to focus on sports, music, and facts.ผู้หญิงพูดคุยเพื่อสำรวจปัญหา แต่ผู้ชายไม่ แทน ผู้ชายพูดคุยเพื่อแก้ไขปัญหา ซึ่งบางครั้งสามารถทำให้ปัญหาระหว่างเพศ ตะวันตกเจ วิชาฯ ในวิทยาลัย จดจำทำให้ปัญหานี้กับเพื่อนชายล่าสุด "ฉันบอกเพื่อนดีเกี่ยวกับปัญหาที่มีกับพ่อแม่ของฉัน เขาทันทีมากับปัญหาปัญหา การบอกวิธีการแก้ไขปัญหาไม่น่าผิดหวังของเนื่องจากมันไม่ได้สิ่งที่ฉันถูกมองหา ฉันขอให้เขาหยุดพยายามที่จะแก้ไขปัญหา และพยายามพูดกับมันแทน ดูสับสนทั้งหมด และกล่าว ว่า, ' พูดปัญหายกเว้นว่าคุณกำลังพยายามหาวิธีแก้มันอยู่ทำไม? "Another way in which men and women differ is in the way they listen. Research has shown that men tend to place all of their attention on one thing at a time, but women do not. Instead, women commonly divide their attention between a number of things at once and make connections between these different things. Since this comes so easily to women, they are sometimes frustrated when men struggle to do this. For example, a common complaint among women is that when a man is watching television, he often doesn’t hear a question asked by the person sitting right beside him. Sakura Kumi has witnessed this many times in her house. Sakura says, “My mother used to get so frustrated trying to get my father’s attention while he was watching TV, and I did too. So she got into the habit of standing in front of the TV and saying, ‘Hiroshi, I’m about to ask you a question.’ It’s become sort of a family joke.”Research has shown that these communication differences can be partially explained by the different ways in which the male and female brains are structured and wired. For example, the left side of the brain, where logic and literal thinking are processed, tends to be stronger in men. Meanwhile, women tend to think with the right side, which is where comprehension is processed. The female brain also has more connections between the right and left side, so their thought process is likely to be more complex and sophisticated.Research has also shown that the different ways that boys and girls are raised have a significant impact on how they communicate. Girls are raised to be more sociable and to recognize and be sensitive to the feelings of others. On the other hand, boys are taught to be more direct and goal-oriented. Being raised in such different ways is bound to create two different styles of communication.While the differences in the way men and women communicate can sometimes cause confusion, these differences are also what help make women and men such good partners. The strengths and weaknesses of one gender balances out those of the other. This balance is what makes the relationship between women and men so rich, interesting, and satisfying.
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