For the INTJ everything has a scientific base so getting close would be difficult initially, as they don’t see the need for emotional connection. Their engagement tends to come via intellectual arguments with like-minded people. For INTJs emotion doesn’t compute and so they may not understand their impact on others or indeed gauge the emotional reactions of others, which can make them appear as insensitive or a little cold. INTJs are private and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misunderstand. INTJs want people to make logical sense and so feelings are difficult for them to fathom. INTJs are intellectually curious and love complex problems and analysing data to and come up with unique solutions, driven more by concepts and abstract ideas than by the emotions of people.
The INTJ is often impervious to their environment as they are deep and private and love getting their heads into complex problems. They love the intellectual robust debate and won’t really ‘see’ conflict. For the INTJ it is about creating something new and worthwhile and this will be their focus. They won’t really see the emotional issues and will work at a more cerebral level where they are more comfortable. INTJs work more at an intellectual than emotional level and so would see conflict, if they did engage, as simply an extension of the debate and their arguments would be well thought through, based on data. As the INTJ inhabits an internal world of complexity, ideas and possibilities, working towards conclusion, any conflict would simply be seen as part of that process, enacted then it’s time to move on.
The emotional reactions of other people can be difficult for an INTJ to gauge and they may therefore appear to others as insensitive and cold and to staff as neglectful of their ‘people’ responsibilities. The INTJ is a perfectionist and may also find it difficult when other people or projects etc do not come up to their high expectations and standards. This can make them seem a little superior and so some people may love it if they trip up, but this would be unusual for the INTJ. INTJs are generally extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. Although quietness pervades, the INTJ is capable of being a real chatterbox - but not in general or small talk - only on issues which are important to them or which stimulate them. When an idea is fully formed (until it is the INTJ would prefer not to speak of it), the INTJ is prone to wax lyrical about it even to the extent of becoming an expert bore!