i TTL,
I’m glad this topic has come up. I am already legally married, but have yet to do the village ceremony in Isaan. With this approaching on my next visit I have talked about this a lot with my wife because it was becoming a concern to me. Not because I feel like I shouldn’t have to pay….but with the expense of my wife’s UK settlement visa application which we are submitting at the same time, I simply don’t have the money.
However, I needn’t have worried. My wife knew that it’s just not possible for us to pay the Sin Sod, so she spoke with her mother and came to an “arrangement”.
Going back to what was said above (“Sin Sod is largely about face”) the only concern my wife had was about the community in her home town looking down on her family. So after explaining the situation to my wife’s mother it was decided that we will have a “show” sin sod. Basically we will make a show of offering the money, which in our case was decided at 50,000baht. We will then be given back the money, which we will use to pay for the visa application. I will also probably give a small amount to my wife’s mother behind closed doors anyway, whatever we can afford, just as a gesture.
I was concerned that by offering nothing I would be perceived as a “cheap charlie” and so we also made it clear to the family that when we return to Thailand in the future, after maybe a year or two when funds have recovered we will then either pay the Sin Sod or do something to help the family, even if its not accepted.
I know another guy that was in a similar situation. He too explained this to the family at the time and the Sin Sod was set at only 10,000baht.
I think a lot of guys when they hear the mention of Sin Sod panic and automatically think the family will ask for huge sums of cash, which I’m sure some families do. But I think these days it’s a lot more flexible.
Personally I think if you marry into that culture then you should expect to pay at least something. Again it’s just a shame that those not “in the know” have this idea that by paying the Sin Sod you are “buying” your wife. Grrrrr!!
Steve