it's something i'm trying to work out myself actually so take it for what it is, an advice from a very imperfect person who's on perhaps a similar path to some degree.. focus on yourself first, find happiness for you before you blindly give happiness to others as that requires a certain overhead in emotional and mental well being.. i guess to illustrate you could compare it to a bank account.. your happiness is your credits/money.. you can't loan someone anything when you yourself are either near 0 or actually in debt to the bank already, that will only make your own problems worse and you will feel that the day the bank comes to collect.