Life goes on.
Himchan had tried to fight it, unbelieving that his best friend was truly gone. He watched as everything fell back into place before his very eyes, the only thing different was that Youngjae was gone now. How could everything be so normal with Youngjae gone? Day by day, week after week, it all just passed so easily but Himchan felt so stuck. There wasn't a day that passed where he didn't expect to see his best friend, the one who used to be so excited and so happy to just be there.
He was gone. He was really gone.
Himchan sat down at his table, looking at the chair across from his own. He could still see Youngjae sitting there, all the times they'd sat there and had dinner together. It just didn't feel real, even at the service. A part of him was gone and he felt so lost. He stared down at the envelope Junhong had given him all those weeks ago. He hadn't been able to open it but he knew he had to. He looked over his shoulder, purposely waiting until it was almost time to head to work to read it. That way, he could at least quickly distract himself.
He was so careful, not even wanting to rip the envelope. The man pulled the paper out before gently placing it on the table. Himchan took a few more minutes, preparing himself as he finally unfolded it and began reading.
Hey, Himchan.
The letter started, the hand writing was so messy he was almost having trouble reading it. Himchan's heart ached painfully. Was he scared when he was writing this? He wondered before forcing himself to read on.
If you're reading this, I'm gone. I just couldn't take it anymore. It's not your fault, it's no one's fault but my own. I was just so tired, Himchan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I really didn't deserve you, you were too good to me. You always were. Please don't blame yourself.
Himchan covered his mouth to choke back a sob. He wouldn't cry anymore, he'd promised himself he wouldn't cry anymore. Youngjae wouldn't like it.
Everything of mine, you can have. I just have a couple of requests. Will you take care of Junhong from now on? He really needs someone right now and I trust you to take care of him. Please. And will you tell my father how sorry I am? I let him down, I know I did. I let everyone down but I know him most of all.
I really never thought Jung Daehyun would be the man I'd fall in love with. I never meant for any of this to happen. I really just wanted to make you all proud. I love him, I love him so much. I don't know why, I've tried to move on but I can't and I know he won't leave you all alone until I'm gone. I'm happy, I'm going to leave peacefully, Himchan. It's okay. It's better like this. Please don't cry over me.
Take care of Junhong for me and let him know I love him.
I love you.
Himchan stood up from the table so quickly that his chair flipped. He covered his face with his hands, pain making his heart hurt so badly he thought he was dying. He just wished he would have done more, that he wouldn't have let Youngjae get out of his car. He couldn't understand – had Youngjae truly planned on dying like that? He wanted to scream, to break things but he knew that wouldn't do any good.
It wouldn't bring Youngjae back.
But, he needed answers, he needed to know if Youngjae had planned this or if Jung Daehyun had murdered Youngjae.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Yongguk watched in interest as the doors to the interrogation room opened, the man he knew as Kim Himchan stepping inside. He pursed his lips, smiling when the man crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at him. “Hey Pretty, how can I help you?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Himchan's lips curled upward in disgust. “I want answers.”
“Honestly, I'm not sure I like your attitude, Kim Himchan.” Yongguk said, just trying to piss him off further. “Why should I tell you anything?”
Himchan walked closer, leaning over the table to whisper. “I'll kill you if you don't.” He said into Yongguk's face.
The man raised an eyebrow before laughing. “Feisty.” He said in amusement and Himchan really wanted to scream. How did Youngjae put up with him? “Just like him.” Himchan froze at that, meeting eyes with the criminal. Him. Youngjae. He was staring into the eyes of the man who helped murder Youngjae.
“Why? Why did you have to kill him?” The younger man's hands curled into tight fists. “Jung Daehyun ruined his life, he ripped it apart. Why did you have to kill him?”
“We didn't.” Yongguk suddenly narrowed his eyes. “We didn't kill him.”
“Liar.”
Yongguk sneered at that before looking away. “If you just sit your down and speak to me like you have manners, I'll tell you what happened.” Himchan opened his mouth before shutting it again, silently taking the seat across Yongguk.
“Boss never wanted to kill him.” Yongguk said, looking away. “After kidnapping Junhong, he thought Youngjae would be angry enough to kill him. It was stupid and foolish but anyway, Youngjae waltzed in there, pulling his pistol out and aimed it at himself. He wanted to die.”
“Boss stopped him before he could kill himself, he just couldn't believe it. I wasn't really surprised – I knew for a long time he couldn't kill Boss.” Yongguk let out a long sigh. “And Boss couldn't kill him either. They loved each other, sure, it was ed up but they were in love.”
“Youngjae loved him.”
“Boss. . .” He trailed off for a moment before correcting himself. “Daehyun loved Youngjae too. He was the only person Daehyun ever loved. You can call me a liar, I don't care but you know he did. Youngjae would have been dead a long time ago if he didn't.”
“I know.”
“They chose to die together that night.” Yongguk finally said. “Daehyun had set up a bomb because that vain mother er wanted to go out in style, though he denied it; said some about how he wouldn't ever let the police have him, not even his body.” He let out a soft laugh, smiling bitterly. “Daehyun tried to talk him out of it, hell, to even kill him but Youngjae wouldn't. He wanted to die with Boss.”
“I guess they were kind of like Romeo and Juliet, huh?” Yongguk said thoughtfully before letting out another sigh. “You're not the only one who lost their best friend.”
Himchan stared at Yongguk, frowning deeply. “We're not the same, don't compare us. Don't ever compare us.”
“We are, though.” And then a silence took over, Himchan trying to process everything he'd just been told. He didn't know if it made him feel better to know Youngjae had willingly died or if it made him angrier. He didn't know, nothing made sense. “Daehyun loved him. He truly loved him, as much as a psychopath could.”
“They couldn't kill each other so they chose to die together.” Yongguk slowly shook his head, a sad smile on his lips. “I hope they found peace wherever they are now.”
Himchan stood up, turning around and blinking back his tears. “Me too.” He said, his voice just barely above a whisper as he reached out for the handle so he could leave the room.
“Me too.” He repeated once more before leaving Bang Yongguk behind.