5. Aim for comfortable.
When I would sit down with couples and ask them why they ended up with this person, I can’t tell you how often they would sort of hem and haw and dance around the subject. Eventually they’d say, "I felt comfortable. I felt like myself. It felt natural." And then they’d backtrack and say, "I know that sounds horrible and like settling. I don’t mean it to sound so bad, but that’s the truth." Then they would talk about previous relationships where they felt lightning and they were challenged, but it came with a lot of drama.