The most important characteristic is also the most basic, Page says. One major study asked 10,000 men and women what quality they find most important in a mate. The number one response across the board? Kindness. The problem? "No articles are giving advice on how to be 'nice,' even though we'd all be so much better off simply being kind rather than spending hours in front of the mirror," says Page. And it doesn't take a lot to demonstrate these traits. Small acts of kindness, like being on time, letting the other person order first and choose where to sit, and being polite to the server, are clear ways to show consideration.