CAUTION!!! READING THIS PROFILE CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR BAD MOOD. IT HAS BEEN LINKED TO EXTREME SILLINESS AND GIGGLING. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.
" SINCE 911 I HAVE TRIED TO SAY HI TO 10 NEW PEOPLE A DAY, SHARE A FEW SMILES, ALL PART OF MY MASTER PLAN TO CHANGE THE WORLD FOR THE BETTER ONE SMILE AT A TIME."
Bored at work because I have a lot of waiting time at my job. Looking for interesting and fun people to chat with. Sarcasm is a plus. I am in a happy relationship. I am not looking for romance or flirting. I do not use Skype or use other messengers or video conferencing. There will be no communication outside of Interpals and I do not meet people from the internet so please do not ask.Thank you.
This profile is for entertainment purposes only and not a direct indication of my sanity of lack there off. Enjoy :)
So did ya hear about the insomniac who got his sleeping pills mixed up with his laxative and now he is really pooped? *giggles* I’m 3 ft tall and 305 lbs. I’m really starting to look more and more like Homer Simpson every day. My hair has migrated to my back but that just hides the acne that’s so it’s a win, win zit-uation.
I try to be different and I have a very dry sense of humor so you wont need a towel for any of my jokes. Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m going to say next. I’m fun, outgoing and have been told I’m too old to be sold. I have 4 paws (no claws) and I remember to leave the seat down. I love to cook and I was a vegetarian for 24 years.
A little more about me. I’m highly educated. I have a PHD (Partial High school Diploma) after 24 years of studying in grammar school. Right now I’m participating in a study on the long-term effects of men on welfare. So far it’s only linked to impotency. I’m also environmentally (key word MEN-tal) friendly too. I do this by limiting my shower time to once a month. I save so much on water and soap that way or is it soap and water? Whatever!
I have been told that I was a great kisser. But that's only if you believe my boss's rear end.
I’m also doing research on a new beer diet. If you drink beer that is cold enough, the amount of calories used just to warm it up to your body temperature to be digested would be greater than the amount of calories in the beer. The only problem is the beer (Coors Light not Guinness) would have to be 465 degrees below 0. But I’m working on it. I'm also an expert belly dancer but only on bumpy roads or when I laugh too hard.
I look better from the satellite view and I have studied the ways of Fun Sway. Tried lifting weights for a while but I got tired and switched to a smaller beer bottle. Exercise is two four-letter words in one ya know. My first impression might remind you of Alfred Hitchcock.
Bear (or bare if I get lucky) with me because I got my ginkgo biloba mixed up with my viagra and now I have a hard time remembering things.
Turn ons
Long walks.
Operator assisted booty calls.
Chocolate covered bunnies.
Doing daring and risky things in public places.
Turn offs
Short piers
Collect operator assisted booty calls.
Bunnies covered in chocolate.
Explaining to the judge that I’ll never do daring and risky things in public places again.