The Power of One Word
The promising news is that if we learn to identify
the signs of developing distrust before the amygdala is
triggered, we can activate the higher-level brain functions
in the executive brain, where empathy, judgment, and
our more strategic social skills reside. By learning to read
the signals sent by the amygdala and head them off, we
become far more effective at embracing trust — and we
become more conversationally intelligent. We can learn to
sideline signals from the amygdala by
• Noticing how we react to threats — observing
whether we go into “flight, fight, freeze or appease.”
• Labeling our reaction as normal.
• Noticing if we always choose the same reaction to
threat (flight, fight, freeze or appease) and noting how
much the threat impacts us.
• Choosing an alternative way to react at the moment
of contact (breathe in, breathe out; go into “discovery
conversations”; share how you are feeling at the
moment; stay calm and do nothing).
• Becoming more aware of our responses and realizing
we can override our emotions and shift into other
responses.
• Transforming fear into trust, which is the heart of
Conversational Intelligence.