Shady trees slumbered in the still spring air, the lack of wind making the warmth almost uneasy.
A dark silence blanketed the Datong palace in the hours before dawn, the gentle moonlight stringing its way into a small room in the inner court and illuminating a bed and the sweat covered face of the person who laid on it.
Although asleep, Lu Cang's face was contorted into a unsightly expression while lying on a clearly comfortable bed.
"Jing...Don't..." Finally waking from his nightmare, he jerked upright and shoved aimlessly, his face panic stricken - only to find that he had called a certain name in his disorientation, a name he should never have called out.
Thankful that it was just a dream, Lu Cang took in gulps of cool air and tried to calm himself, then slowly gathered his clothes to his body before moving to stand by the window.
The moonlight was dim, and the scenery that was vibrant in the day was now a monotonous shadow, and thinking of all the chaos in the last half month, he could not help but sigh.
The empress' father, and simultaneously the emperor's uncle, Xuanyuan Yongyi, was in prison under accusation of treason for the past two weeks. Emperor Jing Zong used interrogation as a cover to stay with him day and night and rumours were going around the palace, but still no one dared to challenge the emperor. Lu Cang had witnessed their intimacies and he himself knew what those 'interrogation sessions' really were.
Hugging, kissing, and then there was also....
Obscene whispering, touching, climaxes brought by a mixture of pleasure and pain - although these memories were rather far away, the lingering tingle of Jing's touches always made Lu Cang's body temperature spike.
But no, he would never admit that the chaos and excitement from the past had caused all these.
Lu Cang thought of the time he still loved himself, the time before he got drunk on Jing. Shame consumed him from the bottom of his heart, and he wanted nothing more than to rip this entire horror-filled episode from reality, including his own ignorance and his one-sided emotions.
Even if he was the passive one a the beginning of their relationship and suffered pain and humiliation underneath Jing, that man was as beautiful as a fairy and soon , his face was imprinted in Lu Cang's heart and his occasionally gentle caresses made Lu Cang finally fall into his graceful yet firm embrace. Lu Cang started to make efforts to attract Jing like some kind of woman, and even under Jing's constant bullying, he eventually developed some feelings and completely lost track of the proud bandit king he once was, his once arrogant and domineering aura simmered to a dusty residue.
At this point, Lu Cang felt he should be grateful to Xuanyuan Yongyi - although Jing's fiery feelings for that man had pushed Lu Cang from a beautiful dream into the depths of despair, he at the same time also pulled Lu Cang out of a drowning pit of addiction - he has let Lu Cang look at everything from end to end with a clear mind, and lead him to realise all his emotions were self-righteous, a coping mechanism for the embarrassment he had gone through after his majesty the emperor had brought him in like some sort of jester to entertain himself with after the departure of his old lover and trampled all over his dignity, straining every ounce of self-respect from Lu Cang.
So Lu cang, at a loss of what to do, shamefully gathered what pride he could from being the emperor's male plaything.
Tightly clenching his fists, Lu Cang's face twisted into a look of embarrassment and hurt - in the past two weeks, Jing had totally forgotten about his existence. He had abandoned all state matters and indulged in Xuanyuan Yongyi, enjoying the thrill of the conquest, and if not for his little brother (I think his name is Zheng or something) ruling in his stead, the fearless and shameless ministers would have already come clambering.
The moon that hung above the horizon was crescent in shape, and it made anger flood Lu Cang's mind. The night of the full moon was approaching, and he seriously doubted that Jing would initiate anything to alleviate the symptoms of the Bixiao - if not for that damned drug, he would have long ago been on the road back to Hangzhou.
The only way to do it was to seek Jing out, persuade him to give him the antidote and let him go, then Lu Cang could truly be done with this whole mess.
Anyway, now that Jing had the real thing, a lousy substitute like Lu Cang no longer had any use.
Lu Cang desperately told himself to remain clam, remain calm, but his heart was still painfully twisted at the fact he was only something to be used, broken, and thrown away.
Take it as a lesson - never put your heart in anyone else's hands, and never overestimate your position in their heart - Lu Cang knew if he were to ever let himself be put into such a dangerous situation again, it would be the end for him.
Quietly solidifying his resolve, he decided that he would find Jing and get the antidote tomorrow.
He did not for the life of him want to ever see Jing again, but it was necessary to stop his pain, and if he didn't carry out his plans he would be hopelessly trapped in this situation forever.
He made up his mind and laid back down on the bed, gently closing his eyes although he knew sleep would never come. He knew no one would care, but he hoped that he could hold his composure in front of Jing the next day.