... To believe in what I want to believe in."
Aiko contemplated in Foss's words. Aiko's mind was currently filled with regret and guilt which became a bud of doubt in Hajime as the hatred swirled around. Hajime was certainly Aiko's important student, but Shimizu who was also a similarly an important student to her was murdered. The moment she understood he was an existence who, according to situation, would deprive the other students of their lives. She recognized Hajime as a threat who would deprive her of her important people. Even so, Hajime was also her student, she couldn't simply cast him away. It was the same reason why she couldn't just abandon Shimizu, who tried to commit mass murder. That's why she was confused since because didn't know what to do. Though Aiko herself thought she had a difficult personality, she couldn't help it. Hatayama Aiko was a 'teacher,' after all.
Foss didn't know what happened to Aiko. He didn't know she was, in a certain sense, believing too much in what she wanted to believe in. Even so, he could see she had committed a large blunder since she couldn't move on after what she believed in had collapsed.
While he was lost in thought, Aiko's hands had stopped from partaking of her meal and began to get absorbed in her thoughts.
(To believe in what I want to believe in. I wonder... what is it that I want to believe in? One of the things is that I want all of the students to return to Japan. However, it's something that can no longer be fulfilled. Now what I want to believe in is for it to be possible to return home without any more losses...
His story. His story where a classmate tried to kill him. I do not want to believe it... he even said he will kill us if we were to become a hindrance to him. Towards a human who unhesitatingly murdered a person... Towards the enemy who threatened the students...
Even so, I do not want to believe it. Nevertheless, he actually killed him... killed Shimizu-kun without any hint of hesitation. That's why he's already... no, I must believe in what I want to believe in.)
Aiko closed her eyes as she tried to hold down the resurfaced dark feelings. The surrounding people were anxiously looking at her as she moved slightly while thinking of something.
('Because he's an enemy' is what he said, and 'I have no time for that'. He also feared Shimizu-kun will once again attack him and his important people if he let him live. That was something anyone would have thought of.
In reality, Yue-san and Shia-san wouldn't put so much trust in him if he was a cruel man. He only wanted to cut off the source of anxiety for the future of those children... It was why he couldn't let him live. In other words, he thought I wouldn't be able to do anything about Shimizu-kun...
To let Shimizu-kun live would mean I should have at least showed him I could reform Shimizu-kun, in which I didn't... In the end, I was powerless... Shimizu-kun was... Even so, to be killed in that manner... It meant Shimizu-kun was already weakene—... Kh.)
There was a clear reason why Hajime shot Shimizu dead. He was not a broken human who would think nothing of murder. He was not a monster who couldn't be understood. He wasn't an enemy who blindly harm the students. Aiko decided to believe in him because he was a 'student', and her words could still reach him. With such thinking process, she recalled the shocking scene where a student shot another student to death, and she tried to search for the reason behind it.
(That's right. I had forgotten it until now. To begin with, I was the one who asked him to help the dying Shimizu-kun, and that was the result. Shimizu-kun would have died even if he didn't do anything. It was completely unnecessary for him to purposely shoot him! So why?! Why did he do that?! To make sure he dies? No, there's no need for him to do such a thing. That child only had a few minutes left to live, it was why I asked him for his help, but there's nothing more left to be done. After all, there was nothing I could do... Shimizu-kun was shot because of me— Kh!?)