PRACTICE TOUGH EMPATHY
Unfortunately there’s altogether too much hype nowadays about the idea that leaders must show concern for their teams. There’s nothing worse than seeing a manager return from the latest interpersonal-skills training program with “Concern” for others. Real leaders don’t need a training program to convince their employees that they care. Real leaders empathize fiercely with the people they lead. They also care intensely about the work their employees do.
We do not believe that the empathy of inspirational leaders is the soft kind described in so much of the management literature. On the contrary, we feel that real leaders manage through a unique approach we call tough empathy. Tough empathy means giving people what they need and not want they want.
At its best, tough empathy balances respect for the individual and for the task at hand. Attending to both however isn’t easy, especially when the business is in survival mode. At such times, caring leaders have to give selflessly to the people and know when to pull back.
One final point about though empathy: those more apt to use it are people who really care about something. And when people care deeply about something-any thing-they’re more likely to show their true selves. They will not only communicate authenticity, which is the pre-condition for leadership, but they will show that they are doing more than just playing a role. People do not commit to executives who merely live up to the obligation of their jobs. They want more. They want someone who cares passionately about the people and the work-Just as they do.