I realize there are only so many hours in the day to be investing in people left and right, so in the next chapter we’re going to delve into a specific system you can use to mange your personal investment in people and actionably organize your Relationship Architecture. Before we do that, though, I want to illustrate the long-term benefits of investing down. I’m going to take you back to 1987, when I had just graduated from college.
After I graduated from Boston College, I started working in radio at WHDH in Boston. I was basically a glorified gofer making $5 per hour, but I held the title of producer. Everyone was nice, but I definitely wasn’t treated as someone who was at the top of the food chain. It’s was made abundantly clear to me that I was a rookie and had to prove myself, so I worked hard and was insatiable when it came to taking on more tasks and responsibilities. I was so enthusiastic about making the most out of my $5 an hour job that the afternoon host, Eddie Andelman, noticed me.
For those of you who are not from the Boston area or are unfamiliar with Eddied and his show, Eddie is essentially the Godfather of sports talk radio in Boston. He has a thick Boston accent and a passion for sports and food—two passions we strongly shared. Eddie took a liking to me and my “can do” attitude; I didn’t understand the word no. Every time he asked anything of me, I jumped into Do mode.
Then, as luck would have it, Eddie’s executive producer of 15 years, Bruce Cornblatt, was offered a job with Bob Costas. Eddie approached the station management and requested that I replace Bruce in the executive producer role. I was three months into the business at the time; naturally, the program director was hesitant, but he eventually caved in to the request. I became Eddie’s right-hand man: he began taking me to every meeting he attended and introducing me to all the power brokers in Boston. Every day we met with a new CEO. I sat in the meetings like a sponge, listening to everything that was said, watching facial expressions, and taking in the nuances of the discussion. After the meetings (and usually on the way to grab something to eat), Eddie highlighted things that had been said, why they had been said, and how to decode the subtext of the conversation.
I was the executive producer of Eddie’s show for almost 10 years. We did events together—TV shows and live broadcasts from all over the country (even one in Germany)—and we produced shows from just about every major sporting event in the United States. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the experience I received and the situations he let me witness were better than any master’s degree of PhD. I was a 22-year-old kid with essentially nothing but drive, and Eddie generously allowed me to network with the likes of folks that no young kid from East Boston could ever meet on his own. Eddie’s unselfish attitude and willingness to invest in me as a person were major contributors to my ability to develop the business skills I possess today. I didn’t make a ton of money back then, but I could never have afforded the education I received from Eddie Andelman.
One of the power brokers I met early on was Jack Connors, the CEO of hill Holiday, one of the largest advertising firms in the country I remember eating lunch in his office in the John Hancock Tower over-looking the Charles River and the city of Boston, and getting the feeling from both Jack and Eddie that I was welcome and that I belonged. I’ll tell you, that went a long way toward boosting the business confidence of a kid just out of college. Here’s the incredible part: from that day on, whenever I bumped into Jack Connors, he always remembered who I was—by name—and was unbelievably gracious to me. After I started working with the Patriots, I saw Mr.Connors at the Four Seasons in Boston; he stopped, said that he was thrilled about my success and to keep up the great work. Amazing.
What’s even more amazing is that there is a list of other wildly successful people Eddie introduced me to who have treated me similarly. Each meeting Eddie took me to built my equity with the leaders he was meeting with. Beyond that, it instilled in me the confidence to be able to take a meeting with anyone,, regardless of title or wealth. These guys invested their time, experience, and connections in me, and because of that, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them.
Eventually, as all things do, Eddie’s investment in me came full circle. In the course of all the radio shows and events we produced, Eddie and I formed a TV production company through which we created and owned a number of TV shows in the Boston area. In fact, one of the shows, Phantom Gourmet, is still on the air and very successful. Once I made the move to the Patriots, Eddie asked to meet with me, and in that meeting, he asked me to sell my interest in the production company.
To be complete honest, I really didn’t want to sell, because I had worked very hard to create, format, produce, and market the shows, and I wanted to continue to be involved—and, quite frankly, to reap the financial and professional benefits. But at one point in the conversation, Eddie looked at me and said, “It would be a big favor to me, because I would like to set up the boys [his three sons], give it to them, and have them work together.”
Enough said. As much as it pained me to let go from both an ownership and a financial perspective, I couldn’t say no after all that Eddie had done for me. I realized that the opportunity and education he had provided me with were much more valuable than a few TV shows. Some may say that I got the short end of the deal with that transaction, but they didn’t experience the selfless giving that Eddie had bestowed upon me throughout the years we worked together. My selling my share in the company was still not enough repayment, as far as I’m concerned. And even though we haven’t worked together in more than 15 years, I know that if I ever needed him, he would be there for me, and I for him.
Investment is the mechanism for breeding loyalty. If you give, you will get 10 times as much in return. To possess unbreakable relationships that lead to success, invest in people and genuinely give of yourself. Simple.
V: VISION
As we talked about in the section on investing in people, people get caught up in trying to figure out at the handshake who will be the “right” person to network with and who will be able to help them the most. The fact of the matter is, you just never know. I have had big executives full of talk and promises do nothing for me and doormen open the doors to great opportunities. Everyone matters, so you have to treat every relationship as if it will be the one to make a difference. The skill that Eddie possessed—and that every great Relationship Architect cultivates—is thevision to see beyond the status of an individual or his title. A person’s present status is irrelevant in the relationship-building business.
When I was growing up, my dad had a close friend and neighbor, Arthur Tacelli, who was an attorney in Boston. Mr.Tacelli, as I called him, was a great guy who always had great stories. He was a “street” guy, but he was very intelligent, and he loved to discuss matters of principle. For some reason, Arthur took a liking to me and loved to cheat me up . He would question me as if I were one of his witnesses (“So why do you think that, sir?” or, “What is the reasoning behind this?”), and we would spend time exploring different concepts and ideas.
Among all the stories, there’s one that has just stuck with me since college. Arthur has a daughter, Carla, who is around my age. Carla traveled into Boston each day to get to school. Anyone who is familiar with East Boston knows that the area is basically an island, so to get downtown, one must go through the Summer Tunnel. Prior to the Big Dig, this was a nightmare (I know firsthand because I went through it every day to get to BC). Traffic was typically backed up like crazy, and proceeding through the tunnel was slow, to say the least. Quite often, Carla found herself stopped at the tollbooth, and being a very nice and pleasant young lady, she would try to strike up a conversation.
There was this one toll taker she saw essentially every morning. This dude lived a cranky, miserable existence, and he always had a frown on his face. Carla, not being the least bit judgmental, was as friendly to him as she was to anyone, and each morning she greeted “the Crank” with a cheerful, “Good morning!” Day after day she got nothing in return: no smile, no nod, noting. Now, I never witnessed any of this, buy I know Carla, and I can just envision her being as pleasant and nice as can be. This guy had to be ultramiserable to not say hello back.
Carla told her father, Arthur, about the toll taker and about how she had decided to make it her mission to get him to say hello. Day in and day out she would greet the Crank in some new way in an effort to provoke him to say hello. One day, Carla noticed a Dunkin’ s Donuts cup in the booth, and it gave her an idea. The next day, along with her bright and shiny, “Good morning,” she handed the toll taker a cup of coffee along with the toll. The coffer was black, and alongside it were cream and sweetener so he could have it just the way he wanted it. The Crank was stymied as Carla drove off in satisfaction, hoping the next day would produce different results.
Sure enough, the next day at the tollbooth, Carla was greeted with a big smile and “Good morning,” along with a thank you. From then on, the miserable toll taker was pleasant and friendly to Carla as she drove by. Carla had set her goal for this particular relationship and had stuck to the vision. She hadn’t let anything sway her, and she was relentless in her pursuit of it.
Arthur was thrilled and proud to tell