“I have a lot of things I want to say…..But I think that I will crumble if I say those things. Me, and this relation.”
“…….Whatever you say, I won’t change.”
“It’s not your problem. This……Is a problem of my feelings. So I will say one thing. No, I will beg you for one thing. And perhaps, I would be begging you.”
She didn’t shed any tears. It seemed like she wanted to desperately avoid being that miserable that her eyes she opened strongly were shining clearly. But of course, it may seem that way because there were tears in her eyes…… It was the last pride Chloe had of not wanting to show herself to Jo Minjoon.
“Only once. Can I hug you? No, can you hug me…….?”
How many people would there be that would decline after hearing those words? At least, Jo Minjoon wasn’t. No, perhaps if it wasn’t Chloe, he may have replied that he didn’t want to. However, Chloe was also a precious person for him. Although it wasn’t as a woman, she was a person he wanted to be together with for life.
Jo Minjoon slowly moved his feet. He, who sat next to her, looked at her face. Her nervous face that seemed like she would burst of tears was shaking. Jo Minjoon hugged Chloe. He embraced her small, solid shoulders that were soft at the same time. Chloe’s breath reached on the right side of his neck where he had the injury. That feeling that made him burn, was it simply because of Chloe’s breath?
Chloe was small, though it wasn’t about her height. Although she wasn’t as big as Kaya, she had the height of average girls. But even so, she was small. And the reason was only one. Right now, she wasn’t the dignified chef Chloe nor everybody’s gentle Chloe.
Chloe embraced Jo Minjoon’s back. A suitable slim body, but enough for girls to feel reliable. Because they couldn’t see each others faces, only then could Chloe let out the tears she was holding in. But of course, Jo Minjoon wasn’t so dull as to not to notice the tears that reached his shoulder, but not being seen was the important thing.
She wanted to get this embrace. She wanted to be the person inside his embrace as time flowed. Those feelings made Chloe hug him more firmly. She was just rejected, but her heart beat even more at Jo Minjoon’s hand patting her back.
Jo Minjoon placed his cheek to Chloe’s hair. He could clearly feel her beyond her hair. Her soft skin, her pulsations, the rising temperature. It was regrettable. He wanted to console her but the only thing he could do right now was patting her back.
You wouldn’t know what they felt when they hugged each other. They could have felt pain and regret, or peace and optimism between their temperatures. The one thing that was certain was that when they let go of each other no one was putting relieved faces. Jo Minjoon lent her a handkerchief. Chloe hurriedly wiped off the tears with the handkerchief.
“I’m sorry. I’m really miserable, right?”
“There won’t come the day where you look miserable to me. Rather, I……”
“No. I feel the same, so don’t say it. Actually…… If you have accepted me, that would have been a worry by itself.”
He could vaguely guess what Chloe was meaning. Because she had already said it with her mouth that even if they felt the same way, they couldn’t be together. Even the country they lived in was different. Just meeting each other would be difficult, so even if it continued, it wouldn’t be continuing for real.
Jo Minjoon lied down on the sofa with the same posture. They looked at the ceiling that didn’t have any patterns, and Chloe mumbled.
“Life is really difficult. You do this and it’s difficult, do that and it’s also difficult.”
“Yeah.”
“Will someday become easy?”
“If you get everything you want, won’t then become easier?”
“The things I want are exactly two. A restaurant. And….. But now I don’t even have a restaurant and I’m not even a proper chef. I want to get both of those things. No, I will.. You, and cooking. I promise.”
“……Don’t be unreasonable.”
“I’m not. It’s my dream. All dreams fell far at first. If I don’t stop, that day will also come.”
The conversation stopped there. The two of them looked at the fluorescent lamp that was shining at the ceiling as if they were looking at the stars of a night sky for a really long while. Kaya that came in after hitting Anderson’s shin and breathing hard frowned when she saw at the two of them.
“What are you doing?”
“Photosynthesis.”
“Photosynthesis is done by the sun. Even I know that much.”