LANE Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.
ALGERNON Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information.
LANE I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand.
ALGERNON Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralising as that?
LANE I believe it IS a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been married once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person.
ALGERNON [Languidly.]
I don't know that I am much interested in your family life, Lane.
LANE No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of it myself.
ALGERNON Very natural, I am sure. That will do, Lane, thank you.
LANE Thank you, sir.
[LANE goes out.]
ALGERNON Lanes views on marriage seem somewhat lax. Really, if the lower orders don't set us a good example, what on earth is the use of them? They seem, as a class, to have absolutely no sense of moral responsibility.
[Enter LANE.]
LANE Mr. Ernest Worthing.
[Enter JACK.]
[LANE goes out.]
ALGERNON How are you, my dear Ernest? What brings you up to town?
JACK Oh, pleasure, pleasure! What else should bring one anywhere? Eating as usual, I see, Algy!
ALGERNON [Stiffly.]
I believe it is customary in good society to take some slight refreshment at five o'clock. Where have you been since last Thursday?
JACK [Sitting down on the sofa.]
In the country.
ALGERNON What on earth do you do there?
JACK [Pulling off his gloves.]
When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people. It is excessively boring.
ALGERNON And who are the people you amuse?
JACK [Airily.]
Oh, neighbours, neighbours.
ALGERNON Got nice neighbours in your part of Shropshire?
JACK Perfectly horrid! Never speak to one of them.
ALGERNON How immensely you must amuse them!
[Goes over and takes sandwich.]
By the way, Shropshire is your county, is it not?