Conversations are “rituals” we embed into our
culture and our relationships and which give us a way
to successfully structure our engagements with others.
Conversational rituals can be I-centric, like persuading
someone until she gives in or intimidating someone
before a negotiation so he gives up more than he’d
planned. Conversational rituals can also be WE-centric
like shaking hands to greet someone before a difficult
conversation or making up after an argument.
While conversational rituals are designed to help us
connect more fully with others, human beings have conversational
blind spots. These are beliefs that get in the way
of us connecting mind to mind with others, and where we
have blind spots, we also have conflicts and breakdowns.
Common conversational blind spots include assuming that
others see what we see and think what we think; failing to
realize that fear, trust and distrust changes how we see and
interpret reality; and the inability to stand in each other’s
shoes when we are fearful and upset.