Always let your host parents have the last word
Remember that behavior management strategies will be different in every family. As an au pair it is your job to reinforce the discipline and expectations of your host parents. When you arrive to your new home, sit down with your host parents to learn more about their preference. Although you may not always agree with your host parents’ approach, you should follow along with their wishes. Remember that you are caring for your host parents’ children, not your own.
Your host parents will also expect you to come to them when you have had a difficult day with your host children or when they were exhibiting unusual or disturbing behavior. Your host parents want to know what’s going on with their kids, but also where you are struggling. Work with your host parents in a team to help your host children grow and develop.
There can be some rough days when kids challenge you, but know that you are not alone in this. All parents and all other au pairs go through this as well. You have great resources that will help you master those challenges. The first step is always to speak with your host parents and work in a team to solve any issues. You can also speak with your LCC who can connect you with other au pairs who have gone through a similar situation with their host children.
One time my older host kid (5) wanted to play outside with the neighbor kids but I didn’t know if he was allowed to. My host kid was telling me that they have played together before. I didn’t feel comfortable so I told him no. He got really sad and frustrated with my answer and I felt really bad. So I gave in and told him that I had changed my mind and it was a yes. I thought it wasn’t a big deal, because he was just playing with other kids his age. When my host mom arrived home she explained me which kids he was allowed to play with and which ones not. What I learned from that I should’ve called her to ask instead of me guessing. Always ask everything! Even the silliest question!