Sometimes the pattern develops at an early age. At one point in a young man's development the father becomes his opponent, his rival for the mother's love. When the boy has a healthy maturation, he is able to relinquish his mother and overcome his rivalry with his father. At this point, his father becomes his friend, he identifies with him and is later able to go forward and attain a love of his own.
Some men do not overcome the rivalry with the father. They never grow to feel they can have a woman of their own. And, they act out this pattern over and over in all kinds of relationships. They may give themselves an unconscious message that love is dangerous, perhaps forbidden. Or, they tell themselves the love object, (mother), ultimately belongs to another, (to father). No matter how much I want her, they think, I can never have the woman of my dreams for myself. Or, if I do have her, I am taking her away from someone else.
Sometimes the pattern develops at an early age. At one point in a young man's development the father becomes his opponent, his rival for the mother's love. When the boy has a healthy maturation, he is able to relinquish his mother and overcome his rivalry with his father. At this point, his father becomes his friend, he identifies with him and is later able to go forward and attain a love of his own.
Some men do not overcome the rivalry with the father. They never grow to feel they can have a woman of their own. And, they act out this pattern over and over in all kinds of relationships. They may give themselves an unconscious message that love is dangerous, perhaps forbidden. Or, they tell themselves the love object, (mother), ultimately belongs to another, (to father). No matter how much I want her, they think, I can never have the woman of my dreams for myself. Or, if I do have her, I am taking her away from someone else.
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