Setting Goals and Taking Risks
1. Set small and achievable goals. [26] Often, people set unrealistic or unattainable goals, and either become overwhelmed with the challenge or never get started.[27]This is a real damper for self-confidence.
• Gradually adjust your small goals to make the larger goal achievable.
• Imagine you wish to run a marathon, but are worried you would not be able to achieve this goal. Do not go out and try to run 26 miles on the first day of training. Begin where you are. If you are not a runner at all, set a goal to run just 1 mile. If you can run 5 miles relatively easily, then begin with 6.
• For example, if you have a messy desk, perhaps it is too overwhelming to think about cleaning the entire desk. Begin by just removing the books and placing them back on the bookshelf. Even stacking the papers neatly to be sorted through later is movement toward the goal of cleaning your desk.
2.Embrace the unknown. People who lack self-confidence worry that they'll never succeed in an unpredictable situation. Well, it's time to stop doubting yourself and to try something completely new, unknown, and different. Whether you're traveling to a new country with friends or letting your cousin set you up on a date, making a habit of embracing the unknown can help you become more comfortable in your own skin and to feel like you're in control of your destiny — or, rather, that you're okay with not being in control. If you find that you're able to succeed even in a situation you didn't anticipate, then your confidence will go through the roof.
• Spend more time with people who are adventurous and spontaneous. You'll soon find yourself doing something unexpected and feeling better about yourself because of it.
3. Address your perceived areas for improvement. There may be some things that you don't like about yourself that you simply cannot change, such as your height or the texture of your hair. However, there are likely many things that you view as weaknesses that you can address with a bit of dedication and hard work.
• Whether you want to work on being more social or being better in school, you can make a plan to succeed and begin to carry it out. While you may not end up being the most social kid in school or your class valedictorian, you can go a long way in building your self-confidence just by making a plan to start changing for the better.
• Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't try to change absolutely everything. Start with just one or two aspects of yourself that you would like to change, and take it from there.
• Keeping a journal where you chart your progress in achieving your goals can make a big difference. This will help you think about how well your plan is working, and it can help you feel pride in the steps you have taken.
4. Seek to help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world — which will boost your self confidence. Find a way to make helping others a part of your weekly routine, whether you volunteer at your local library or you help your little sister learn to read. The act of helping will not only benefit others, but it will build your confidence because you'll see that you have a lot to offer.
• You don't have to help someone in your community to feel the benefits of helping others. Sometimes, someone close to you, such as your mother or your best friend, will need your help as much as anyone.