Ing
The CB email might have sounded like I am angry. Just so you know, I am not but I wanted to sound angry. Actually, I can understand many of your actions without much trouble. All I have to do is imagine I am you, which I do sometimes, so let me tell you how easy it is to imagine I am you.
Here I am, I am Ing. I am attractive, 32 years and looking for an old man up to age 90. Why would I do that?? Well, I did not have a good father.... he never married my mother and left her very little. He was gone most of the time. None of my bf's were much and my husband left me after a few years with a baby. Like other Thai girls, I want to have a nice house, car and clothes to show off to my friends. Also like other Thai girls I know that most Thai men cannot provide that. What I need is a man from USA or AU. If I get one that is old, say age 73, I will only need to 10 years, 20 at the most with him. Much of that time he will be sick, so I will have lots of spare time for my friends and maybe ever boyfriends. Also, because of the way Thai laws are written, in we live here, I will basically own everything. Once he dies, I can start at age 42-52 a new live with a real man..... plus I will have a car and a house and money. Some of my friends have done this and I have heard many stories of ladies who got rich this way.
The man though, I have to make sure it is one that I can control. It would be good if he doesn't want to drive because he is use to right-hand driving, good. If he can't speak much thai, good..... that way he cannot flirt with any other Thai women here. With anger I can control him maybe. I also need to make him think that giving money to my family is what EVERYONE does, even though that is not true. Well even my husband never did that, but here in Isaan, that is the way we try to treat expats..... different from the way we would treat a Thai man. Otherwise, we would never get the money and pride among other Thais that we want. Besides that, I have felt poor and left behind all my life. I am smart and strong enough to do this.
Now, I am Spence again. See, I can imagine what you might really be only because so many women do exactly this. It is not you fault... you were raised in a community that accepts this, maybe even expects this from some of there young ladies. It is hard for me to get mad at you because it is something you are trying to accomplish, to gain face in the community.
The bad part is the lying and cheating that you have to do to accomplish this. The sad thing is that you have not tried a different approach that would make you more believable to me or to any man. There are things that you should not do:
1. Talk about money too much.
2. Try getting married as soon as possible.
3. Stay on any dating sites. This is a real bad sign.
4. Call this man "husband" when you are still on a dating site. that indicates you would cheat on your husband.
The best thing for you to do is look at every word and action coming from you and ask yourself "If he was doing the same thing to me, what would I think about it." You should do this with every one that you interact with. Ask yourself "Would I like it if someone was talking to me this way?" or "treating me this way?" If you would not like it, than the other person will not like it either. Ask yourself first, then act. It will stop you from doing and saying stupid things,
So all this is my fatherly advice to you. You need to grow up and act like an adult. You are not a child anymore. Treat the man in your life like 100% of the love that you are capable of is going to him. The reward might be that he will treat you the same way. Treat him with control, anger, cheating and he will also treat you the same way.
Dad