You need to man up! Stop whining and self pity.j Nobody likes a lazy freeloader. You must learn to help yourself. ..when I see you do that constructive and positive with yourself, I will help you, but right now you are trying to deceive me but u are only deceiving yourself. You have been doing so for years and that's why you are stuck in life where u are now. Did u learn nothing during ur time at the temple?