I don't understand your secure steps.
I was married for 10 years, I worked hard to provide family with good living. Did everything right, but we ended up divorced.
In a relationship, there is no step by step instructions.
Either you are in it or you are not.
If you are in it, you will give all your best.
If you are not, you don't even try
That is what I understand about relationship
There is no guarantee, if you keep thinking it's not going to work, it will never work.
If you believe it is going to work out, then you will contribute to the success of the relationship