When someone we know and love is having an experience of intense emotional suffering, it is hard to know what to do. It is natural to feel overwhelmed and afraid. When feeling the fear of the situation it is easy to overreact. We have come to believe that unless we are a trained professional we lack the skills to be with someone in crisis.
A caring friend or family member may in fact, be more effective support than a professional in times of emotional overwhelm. You have a relationship with the person and are a much more natural support. Love is a more powerful force and a stronger healing agent than professional credentials.
That being said, I believe we can all learn some calming and grounding techniques that help us face into the fear of overwhelming situations. Please read “The Danger and Opportunity in Crisis” before continuing.
This is what I’ve learned about being with those who are in emotional crisis:
• Emotional crisis is a cry from deep within that something needs and wants to be seen and heard.
• Emotional crisis is always about something. It never “just happens” out of the blue.
• We are more than our body chemistry, and although there is a biochemical component to all aspects of
life, our emotional crisis is about more than neurochemistry.
• There is always meaning in everything we experience.
• Emotional crisis is often the first step in the process of releasing and reorganizing ones life into a
greater sense of authenticity and wholeness.
• We have an unquenchable human spirit and a psyche that is coded to survive.
• We can face into overwhelming situations.
• It is not necessary to understand what is happening.
• It is important to BE WITH what is happening.
• It is far more helpful to BE With a PERSON than to diagnose and treat an illness.
• Our power and passion is often on the other side of that which we fear the most.
• Being afraid does not mean we are weak or that we are incapable.
• No matter what is happening in the moment or what has happened in the past, there is a part of us that is
completely undamaged, is whole, and is connected to a creative life force flowing through all things,
every moment, even this one.
• All life is constantly moving into a greater order and more complete state of wholeness.
• Breaking down, falling apart IS part of the process of moving into a greater state of wholeness.
• The potential for transformation is inherent in each moment.
• We can face into and overcome just about anything.
These are important principles to be aware of, not just for your loved one, but for yourself as well. A crisis situation is not only about the person experiencing the emotional suffering. It is about everyone involved. Everyone in the room feels afraid, unsafe, and overwhelmed. The following techniques are for all involved.