Now what has brought on all this sudden sensitivity is that a week or so ago we took our eldest son off to a small university in Ohio. he was the first of our four to fly the coop, and now he is gone - grown up, independent, far away - and i am suddenly realizing how quickly they go. " once they leave for college they never really come back," a neighbour who has lost two of her own in this way told us wistfully the other day.