I am just passing by. I have read your earlier kratoo asking about divorce law in Germany, although you have not married yet?.
And now, you have problem about your German boyfriend doesn't want to pay for dowry? Hmmm..It sounds strange to me. Please remmber marriage is about "LOVE" not "Money".
I have married to a successful American businessman. My family never ask my husband any penny for a dowry. As they think money (dowry) is not important for them. The most important thing for them is to make sure that my (future) husband at that time must really love me and can take care of me. He never paid any penny for a dowry until now. :)
As your boyfriend is German..or any other nationality. Usually, the father of the bride( woman) have to pay for all the expenses at the wedding. That's why he doesn't want to pay for the dowry.
Also, paying for a dowry in Thai culture is very tricky. Sometimes, I myself can't help to think that the dowry amount is a sale listing price from bride's family. Some...may I state again some family hope to lift their economic status within their community from the dowry amount.
=================================
I have found couple comments on bangkok post forum about Thai dowry. Maybe it is a good information abour how farangs feel about Thai dowry system. (I am sorry of some comments might hurt someone feelings)
=================================
Juta: comment about Thai dowry
The fact of dowry in traditional marriage
I want to set the record straight about the dowry in Thai traditional wedding ceremony. There are so many talks in this forum regarding the dowry that I found it very disturbing and I want to correct the attitude of those who believe that paying dowry is to pay the price for having Thai wife.
By all means, no one will say a groom must pay dowry to a bride’s family with the specific amount. It’s just a matter of choice; even though most of the grooms will pay some thing to his wife-to-be’s parents, and this can be as little as 1,000 baht for the well educated woman. Why so? Because traditionally, a groom is supposed to express his gratitude to a bride’s parents. If this amount is that’s required from her parents, the wedding arrangement will go ahead. On the other hand, some parents are fear of losing face if their daughter gets married with a small amount of dowry. It also depends on the groom’s financial and social status as well. If he comes from wealthy or middle to high class family, he is supposed to give a generous dowry.
Dowry is only one of too many issues of the auspicious marriage settlements. I have extracted some info on traditional marriage from http://www.thaifolk.com/ then click on ‘cultural’ -> ‘Tradition of Marriage’ You will see that in one of the poorest provinces in the northeast, the dowry is only 49 Baht. But I suspect this amount would be out of date since there are so many girls from these areas prefer to marry foreigners in the hope that they can lift up their economic status.
Here is the extraction:
Preparation for the settlement demand: The settlement is essential for the marriage. The groom's parent must prepare the settlement and bring to the bride's home in the morning and at the selected auspicious time. However, the time for the parade of the settlement is not strict nowadays. Normally, people choose a time that is convenient for them. The settlement is consisted of ;
1. Primary settlement : Single or dual, depending on local culture. Mostly containing piper betel, money or gold as for bride's parent, auspicious elements such as beans, sesame, paddy, Bai tong(gold leaves) , Bai ngoen (silver leaves), Dok ruk (love flowers), Dok ban mai ru roey (forever lasting flower), Dok dowruang (shining star flowers), roses etc., which implicitly have auspicious meanings. These elements are prepared in pairs so that they look auspiciously beautiful, implied by the word "Khu" (a pair or a couple). In Kalasin, a province in the northeast of Thailand, the settlement is separated into two parts. One part contains money, regarded as cost for mother's milk, wrapped or packed with the amount of 49 Baht. The other part contains gold, bracelets, and engagement ring. Practically, there are two more parts of settlement containing piper betel, betel palm, and containing auspicious elements.
2. Secondary settlement. Containing food and candies, including other necessary elements such as liqueur, banana trees, and sugar cane stems. These elements are also prepared in pairs and beautifully decorated.
I am just passing by. I have read your earlier kratoo asking about divorce law in Germany, although you have not married yet?.
And now, you have problem about your German boyfriend doesn't want to pay for dowry? Hmmm..It sounds strange to me. Please remmber marriage is about "LOVE" not "Money".
I have married to a successful American businessman. My family never ask my husband any penny for a dowry. As they think money (dowry) is not important for them. The most important thing for them is to make sure that my (future) husband at that time must really love me and can take care of me. He never paid any penny for a dowry until now. :)
As your boyfriend is German..or any other nationality. Usually, the father of the bride( woman) have to pay for all the expenses at the wedding. That's why he doesn't want to pay for the dowry.
Also, paying for a dowry in Thai culture is very tricky. Sometimes, I myself can't help to think that the dowry amount is a sale listing price from bride's family. Some...may I state again some family hope to lift their economic status within their community from the dowry amount.
=================================
I have found couple comments on bangkok post forum about Thai dowry. Maybe it is a good information abour how farangs feel about Thai dowry system. (I am sorry of some comments might hurt someone feelings)
=================================
Juta: comment about Thai dowry
The fact of dowry in traditional marriage
I want to set the record straight about the dowry in Thai traditional wedding ceremony. There are so many talks in this forum regarding the dowry that I found it very disturbing and I want to correct the attitude of those who believe that paying dowry is to pay the price for having Thai wife.
By all means, no one will say a groom must pay dowry to a bride’s family with the specific amount. It’s just a matter of choice; even though most of the grooms will pay some thing to his wife-to-be’s parents, and this can be as little as 1,000 baht for the well educated woman. Why so? Because traditionally, a groom is supposed to express his gratitude to a bride’s parents. If this amount is that’s required from her parents, the wedding arrangement will go ahead. On the other hand, some parents are fear of losing face if their daughter gets married with a small amount of dowry. It also depends on the groom’s financial and social status as well. If he comes from wealthy or middle to high class family, he is supposed to give a generous dowry.
Dowry is only one of too many issues of the auspicious marriage settlements. I have extracted some info on traditional marriage from http://www.thaifolk.com/ then click on ‘cultural’ -> ‘Tradition of Marriage’ You will see that in one of the poorest provinces in the northeast, the dowry is only 49 Baht. But I suspect this amount would be out of date since there are so many girls from these areas prefer to marry foreigners in the hope that they can lift up their economic status.
Here is the extraction:
Preparation for the settlement demand: The settlement is essential for the marriage. The groom's parent must prepare the settlement and bring to the bride's home in the morning and at the selected auspicious time. However, the time for the parade of the settlement is not strict nowadays. Normally, people choose a time that is convenient for them. The settlement is consisted of ;
1. Primary settlement : Single or dual, depending on local culture. Mostly containing piper betel, money or gold as for bride's parent, auspicious elements such as beans, sesame, paddy, Bai tong(gold leaves) , Bai ngoen (silver leaves), Dok ruk (love flowers), Dok ban mai ru roey (forever lasting flower), Dok dowruang (shining star flowers), roses etc., which implicitly have auspicious meanings. These elements are prepared in pairs so that they look auspiciously beautiful, implied by the word "Khu" (a pair or a couple). In Kalasin, a province in the northeast of Thailand, the settlement is separated into two parts. One part contains money, regarded as cost for mother's milk, wrapped or packed with the amount of 49 Baht. The other part contains gold, bracelets, and engagement ring. Practically, there are two more parts of settlement containing piper betel, betel palm, and containing auspicious elements.
2. Secondary settlement. Containing food and candies, including other necessary elements such as liqueur, banana trees, and sugar cane stems. These elements are also prepared in pairs and beautifully decorated.
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