STRATEGY
10 habits of genuinely charming people
LinkedIn
Jeff Haden, LinkedIn
Apr. 2, 2015, 5:26 PM 276,238 2
jennifer lawrence
Mark Davis/Getty Images
LinkedIn Influencer Jeff Haden published this post originally on LinkedIn.
Sure, everyone knows blunt, impolite, and even rude people who are somehow extremely successful. I know a bunch of them.
But since we're all more likely to build professional and personal relationships and do business with people we like, we're naturally drawn to individuals who are polite, modest, agreeable, and kind.
In short, we're drawn to people who are charming.
I know a bunch of them, too, and here's how they do it:
1. They willingly show a little vulnerability
Charming people don't try to win any unstated competitions with people they meet. In fact, they actively try to lose. They're complimentary. They're impressed. They're even willing to admit a weakness or a failure.
It's really easy. Say you meet a would-be Donald Trump and he says, "I just closed a fabulous deal to build the world's best golf course on the most amazing oceanfront property on the planet."
Don't try to win. Instead say, "That's awesome. I'm jealous. I've wanted to build a small recreation facility for years, but can't line up the financing. How did you pull off such a huge deal?"
Charming people are confident enough to be unafraid to show a little vulnerability. They know that while some people may be, at least temporarily, impressed by the superficial, everyone sincerely likes and appreciates the genuine.
2. They show they're genuinely glad to meet you
They maintain eye contact. They smile when you smile. They frown when you frown. They nod your head when you nod. In simple, nonverbal ways, they mimic your behavior — not slavishly, but because they're focused on what you're saying.
That feedback loop helps two people bond — and the ability to bond is the essence of charm. If you want more ways to be likeable, check this out.
3. They search for agreement instead of contradiction
STRATEGY 10 habits of genuinely charming people LinkedInJeff Haden, LinkedInApr. 2, 2015, 5:26 PM 276,238 2jennifer lawrenceMark Davis/Getty ImagesLinkedIn Influencer Jeff Haden published this post originally on LinkedIn.Sure, everyone knows blunt, impolite, and even rude people who are somehow extremely successful. I know a bunch of them.But since we're all more likely to build professional and personal relationships and do business with people we like, we're naturally drawn to individuals who are polite, modest, agreeable, and kind.In short, we're drawn to people who are charming.I know a bunch of them, too, and here's how they do it:1. They willingly show a little vulnerabilityCharming people don't try to win any unstated competitions with people they meet. In fact, they actively try to lose. They're complimentary. They're impressed. They're even willing to admit a weakness or a failure.It's really easy. Say you meet a would-be Donald Trump and he says, "I just closed a fabulous deal to build the world's best golf course on the most amazing oceanfront property on the planet."Don't try to win. Instead say, "That's awesome. I'm jealous. I've wanted to build a small recreation facility for years, but can't line up the financing. How did you pull off such a huge deal?"Charming people are confident enough to be unafraid to show a little vulnerability. They know that while some people may be, at least temporarily, impressed by the superficial, everyone sincerely likes and appreciates the genuine.2. They show they're genuinely glad to meet youThey maintain eye contact. They smile when you smile. They frown when you frown. They nod your head when you nod. In simple, nonverbal ways, they mimic your behavior — not slavishly, but because they're focused on what you're saying.That feedback loop helps two people bond — and the ability to bond is the essence of charm. If you want more ways to be likeable, check this out.3. They search for agreement instead of contradiction
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